Three friends

[Chocolatey1234]

I have two friends/acquaintances that I have known for years we live in the same area and we meet up together half a dozen times a year and text/WhatsApp in between times.

I have a feeling the dynamics/friendship has changed recently as things sometimes do. Nothing concrete I just have a gut feeling about it.

If you have ever felt like this before about a situation are you usually right or do you think I might be over thinking it?

I was going to try and initiate a get together in the next few weeks but I am unsure whether or not to bother.

If I bother and they say no at least I will know where I stand and I needn’t wonder or second guess. But if they both make excuses and ultimately say no I might feel hurt and wonder why I bothered.

What would you do?

Intuition is often right about these shifts, however the connections can restore after a while too.

Contact them and see if they want to get together and try to stay centred regardless of outcome - play the long game and see what happens.

What are the ‘tells’ that are making you sense a change?

@Alalalala urm less contact/communication, a couple of times lately the other two seem to be siding with each other more and I feel from a couple of more recent messages that it sounds like they have perhaps already discussed something first, decided and then asked me.

I could be overthinking it. Due to a number of factors but maybe I am right.

Would others reach out with a breezy message and see what happens or do nothing save face and see how things unfold?

I used to really enjoy getting together and meeting up with them.

I would be sad to see the friendship end but maybe it is on the way out.

If I want to see them, I'd arrange a meet up.
If I weren't bothered, I wouldn't.

I don't tend to over analyse friendships.
It is also natural for friendships to change over years as your lives change in all sorts of different ways.

Thanks sent a Whatsapp group message to them both asking if they wanted to meet up in the next few weeks and it’s been delivered and opened but neither have responded yet.

Will see what happens.

They have both replied about two hours apart and for the first time ever they have both said they are free on the exact same two days. This never happens and with one in particular its always really hard to decipher her messages and determine when she is actually free and usually if we say which Fridays and Saturdays is everyone free she will throw in some random dates.

It is like they have had a communication just between themselves before replying to me. But its good they have replied and they want to meet up so it is what it is and I will see when I see them in person next month.

I don’t understand why it’s an issue for you if they’ve been communicating among themselves, or seeing one another separately, though?

When you say the others are ‘siding with each other more’, what do you mean — are you a particularly quarrelsome threesome?

No say if H suggests something and asks what do we think do we fancy X on Y date. If I say yes then recently M has said no for a particular reason or expressed reservations about it then H has backtracked and agreed with M and it’s then taken off the table. This has happened a couple of times over events.

Same if I suggest something H will be up for it then M isn’t available or not keen and its no longer an option but this has only been a recent thing.

I was friendliest with M and H is prob closer to M than to me originally but we all get on as a three. But H winds us both up sometimes as she tries to change arrangements last minute.