Hi
My partner and I have been together 11.5 years but we haven't had sex for t least the last 7 years. I'm 41 and he's 53.
I don't really remember or know why we stopped having sex. We don't even kiss passionately or cuddle anymore.
And we haven't spoken about this either. I now feel like it's the elephant in the room.
I feel like we're living together as good friends or like brother and sister, there's just no intimacy there at all.
I need to talk to him but I don't know where to start.
I've recently started the gym and I have a personal trainer. I've started to think about him a lot/fantasise about us together. I think it's just a crush but it's really made me feel so guilty.
I don't think I find my partner attractive anymore and I'm not sure what I'd do if we talked he said he wanted to start being intimate again, as I don't know if I want to? I've tried to imagine having sex with him again and it just doesn't excite me which I feel so bad saying.
I know I'm not feeling fulfilled in my relationship or else I wouldn't look elsewhere surely.
I would never cheat on my partner, I'm pretty sure my PT only sees me as a client and the whole thing with him is in my head only but it's made me feel things I haven't felt in a long time.
Is my relationship doomed? We're not married and have no kids.
I'd appreciate any advice on what to do.