MIL visits constantly AIBU

[Kvec1507]

Hi all
I am really struggling at the moment and need some friendly advice.
I've been married for 15 years to the most amazing man. My MIL has always been fine but lately she has taken to turning up every single weekend, both days. She pops in for 1-2 hours.
Basically the thing is we work full time, kids have clubs sat and sun morning and most evenings during the week so the only time me and hubby get to do anything whether that's go out for a walk, shopping or even just have a cuddle is about the same time she turns up every Saturday and Sunday.
It's become a bit of a joke but I really don't know what to do. She is lonely I completely get that but it's also creating a bit of a wedge between me and hubby. Neither of us want to say anything because we don't want to upset her.
She's made a couple of digs at me lately about other stuff and I'm starting to feel really uncomfortable in my own home.
What can I do?
Apart from planning to be out of the house every single afternoon I just don't know what to do.
I don't mind the occasional visit but this is becoming extreme.

Hubby needs to talk to her and ask if she's okay, and if there's a reasons she's started visiting more. (Just in case there something else going on, like deep depression, or some terminal illness she's keeping secret). Then, if that's all fine, then he needs to ask her not to drop in unannounced, for all the reasons you hate given, and maybe arrange a set day/ time you see her, like she comes over fortnightly, on a Saturday or Friday night or whatever.

You're going to have to upset her. Can DH and one of the kids go over to hers sometimes to mix it up a bit? You need to decide how often you can cope with her visiting and then stick to it.

I don't think there's anything else going on. She pretty much tells us everything. I don't know whether she's doing it to piss me off. She makes comments to me about how I don't look after her little boy properly. Honestly I treat him like a king and he treats me like a queen and we're really happy. Not sure if it's jealousy of something.
Hubby said he'll start popping over there during the week so I'm hoping that might help
Our kids are teenagers now so it feels like we've finally got a bit of our own time back amidst all the taxiing around and then we get stuck at home as we feel too bad about saying don't come over. She has a key and I'm starting to realise that was a big mistake!

Have a fabricated reason to change the lock and don't give her a key.

Great suggestion. My MIL was like this with my SIL. Fortunately we never gave her a key. But she did turn up once at ours at 7am, she lived 2 hours away! It got a lot better when she met her partner. She was clearly lonely.

My MIL was the same. She moved house to be 400 yds away , she had a key and came round all the time,

Have a talk with your husband. He needs to be shutting down those nasty digs at you and telling her if she can't be polite, she can go home. He's also going to have to tell her she's over too much and interrupting sex.

Do not leave your home because she makes you uncomfortable. That's what she wants.

Change the locks. Rude people who say nasty things and come over without an invitation and barge don't get keys. She interrupts your privacy.

She may kick off. Tough. What's more important, her entitlement or your marriage?

"Neither of us want to say anything because we don't want to upset her"

Well she does not give a fig about upsetting you does she?. She is treating your house like her second home. Really such people are incapable of being upset and she is more likely to become pissed off when you finally challenging this.

If she refuses to give back the key change the locks.

Where are your boundaries here; they are far too low to the point they are seemingly non existent from both of you. Your H should also have words with her but is he afraid of her and or still seeks her approval even now?.

How old is she? What else does she have on in her life? Does she need a key?

I should have looked at the date. This is a thread from early 2025.

It may be an old thread but it still going on lol.
OH did have a word and it is much better now.
Stil need to get the key back though, what she does now is ring the doorbell then lets herself in!

Is it just a yale lock? They're dead easy to replace.

Put a bolt on the inside of the door.

Change the lock. Job done!!