Would this make you sad if you partner did this?

[MyWashingGotDarkedOnAgain]

I'm having a few issues atm wrt my lady area.
I had to have a small procedure recently too.
I'm feeling really down with all of these issues. I feel awful.
Earlier today I gave my DP a hug a said "sorry you got stuck with someone so gross".
Now if that was me I'd have replied to say that he wasn't gross or that I loved him and he can't help if some of his medication was causing unwanted side effects.
He literally said nothing and just hugged me.
Would this bother you or should I just gave my head a shake?

It's not great but if the rest of the time he is loving, caring, thoughtful and supportive I might let it go. More likely I'd say, there's where you're supposed to say I'm not gross.

Depends. If he's generally kind and decent, and supportive of you with these issues, then I'd let it go. If he's not that supportive, then there's a bigger problem anyway.

Thank you @2025willbemytime
He's not the most verbally loving but he is extremely supportive and a great partner otherwise.
I should probably just let it go.

Maybe at a time when you feel able you could say to him that a bit of reassurance that you aren't gross would have been lovely.

Agree with this. Maybe he’s a bit embarrassed, not sure what to say, worried he will upset you, being a man and thinking about football or food!

Yeah he should have reassured you.

"lady area"??? Do you mean vagina or vulva?

I think you sound passive-aggressive. Why would you refer to yourself as "gross"? You've simply had a minor medical issue. Why would you expect him to respond to you the way you would have done if the tables were turned?

Stop being sorry for being gross. Back yourself. Let him respond the way he wants. He hugged you back. Hope you're better....

Maybe it would have been nice of him to say that but you sound like your self esteem is low and you were seeking validation, so I think the bigger concern is that you think that about yourself (asin that your gross)
I am guessing that to make a comment like that, either you don't feel properly accepted/loved by him or you don't accept and love yourself...or both.
It's not your fault you're going through what you are- be kind to yourself regardless of what others do or don't say.

Thanks everyone.
Hopefully better in a few days.

@I2amonlyhereforTheBeer it's kind of a few different areas so just for ease I said lady area. I promise I do know the correct terminology for my body parts 🙂

That's a very interesting point re self esteem. Definitely something to think about.

Actions speak louder than words

I think you’re being really unfair. You were passive aggressive instead of just telling him how you felt. He comforted you. I don’t see what he’s done wrong.

I think he just didn't know the most acceptable response to your comment which wasn't the best. . Some men are a bit weird about lady garden issues. They can't really relate. I'd let it go. He hugged you.

1. you said something and expected him to give response you expected
2. He was in position where he knew you were expecting something specific but prob not sure exactly what he was expected to ssy

Don’t do stuff like that. You were looking for reassurance in a manipulative way,

just say “ I’m feeling bad about these thing —give me a hug and tell me it’s ok “

so he knows what you are looking for

Your comment was very passive aggressive - you were seeking a certain response. He was probably caught off guard by the comment, overthinking "oh no what do I say etc" , and hugged you to show his care with his actions. I think if you are worried about something have a straight forward conversation. the other pp re your self esteem and communication is also worth exploring. This is on the premise he is a good guy overall. Some men and women are better at showing how they feel with their action ( the hug) then words or will not know what to say on the spot as they will overthink it etc.

Sometimes my husband has bodily side effects which are gross! I wouldn't call him gross, it's the medical issue that's vile. But I can imagine being caught off guard.

I just gave him a hug and explained I was sad.
All sorted. Thank for helping me to see things from different perspectives.

He’s supportive and kind you say, so most likely the hug was to comfort you for feeling rotten about yourself. Let it go.

I agree with cerial, you can't bait people like that and get annoyed when they don't bite. He probably just hugged you because he didn't know what to say. He can't stop you feeling gross, you shared an opinion about yourself, he quietly comforted you. This is a you issue sorry. Hope all is well soon!