Backstory, I’ve been with partner 6 years we have a 4 year old DS. He cheated on me 7 months into our relationship (before son was here) I took him back he swore he wouldn’t do it again.
Relationship was ok, we had our moments but he joined a new firm in December 2022 and became a different person.
In June last year, I found out he was cheating on me again, his mum has a air bnb and he was taking her back there on days/nights it wasn’t booked, I caught him in the act - was extremely painful, it was going on since Feb last year and ended in July.
Like the fool I am, I took him back again he spent 3 months back in the family home with me promising me he wouldn’t do it again.
Well I found out last night he is, in November he started acting the exact same way being shady, not answering my calls - so I called time on the relationship in December and asked him to move back to his mums home (her actual home) until I figured things out. He swore there was no girl, all in my head blah blah.
I said he didn’t want to loose his family/me and will do anything so I asked him to prove it, he hasn’t done anything.
Its all come to a head now, he’s been in his mums home since December visiting his son at mine and taking him to his mums EOS, still telling me he loves me, we were still sleeping together.
We had a arguement 2 weeks ago in which he did tell me there was someone else and flashes a picture of him and her on his phone, he told me that they met in October and he has feelings for her, he then backtracked and said he said all that to make me angry because of the things I had said (I said nothing of a another man) this obviously left me very confused.
He came to my home yesterday as our son was sick and to give me money, I should mention his phone is broken. He arrived at 1.00 and said he would need to leave at 2.30 because he was meeting his dad at 3.30 - so I said ok, again told me he wasn’t lying and he wants to make things work and to take it slow.
As his phone was broken he asked to use my work phone to call his dad to say he was going to be late, I gave him the phone and he went outside to make the call. He deleted the number from my call log.
This didn’t sit right with me as he knows I’ve got his dads number.
anyway he left at 3.30 (after sleeping together) and told me he would call me later and he was getting his phone fixed.
I never heard from him, and I had this feeling he was lying. As he used my work phone and I have access to business vodaphone portal, I logged in and saw in the “unbilled usage” the number he called and it wasn’t his dads.
I put the number in what’s app and it looks like the girl who he flashed a picture of - so he obviously went to meet her, and more than likely either at his mums air bnb or her home. I’m heartbroken, the old me would have called or messaged me but I just don’t see the point, I’d be painted out as the “crazy ex” when I’m not.
Please help me on how to deal with all this - he manipulates me/gaslights me and I don’t know what the truth is anymore.
Help!