Post break up help

[Downbad75]

Sorry posted this in AIBU by mistake. I have posted a while ago about my DP who I thought was emotionally abusive. I literally can't tell you if he was as I feel so confused about it all. I left the relationship 2 months ago as the anxiety that I felt everyday just would not pass and I had to get some space from it. Now that I am out of it I can't quantify what the issues were. I feel like I almost made it all up and that I was just as bad as him but at the time I felt he was abusive and numerous people I told what had been happening felt the same.
Everyone in my life has told me they are so proud of me for moving out. The issue is that no one has actually made any effort in the 2 months since. I've barely seen any friends and they barely text even knowing what's happened. On the other hand he has been nothing but lovely to me for 2 months. I miss him so much and just want to go back. I feel so lonely and end up speaking/seeing him. I really want things to be better but there's a huge part of me that is scared it's all going to go wrong again if I did. He's accepted a lot of the things were wrong that he did and that he never realised how much he had hurt me. Wants to work on things for us both to be happy. I just feel like everyone must think I am so stupid to go back when I was so anxious but it's all I want to do right now?

Sorry to hear you’re feeling conflicted OP. There’s clearly a trauma bond here and that attachment is so difficult to move on from. It doesn’t sound like you’ve had the no contact period after a breakup for you to properly reflect and see the relationship in perspective. If he’s ’being nice’ you haven’t had the chance to grieve what you’ve moved on from so you sound like you’re stuck. And perhaps seeing things through rose tinted glasses now the conflict has subsided?

If it helps, I left my ex 3 times last year and every time I went back, with promises of change on his part. He was nice for a few weeks then went back to normal, ghosting me and treating me like an afterthought, and generally treating it like a situationship. I’ve had a full month with no contact now and I went through the ‘was this really a good enough reason to leave’ stage, and I now know it was. I feel so much healthier and happier. My advice is cut contact and see how you feel after that. Don’t jump back into a relationship that will go back to what it was sooner than you realise. Give yourself time to make a good decision. Best of luck.