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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Boyfriend say F**k and P*** Off to me

33 replies

Kittycat1999 · 31/01/2025 14:12

My boyfriend and I have been together for over three years, and there's a pattern I’ve noticed whenever he gets frustrated with me—he tends to tell me to "p** off" or calls me names if I’m annoying him. Usually, I try to brush it off, but today I just couldn’t anymore.
Here’s the situation: Our electricity tripped, so we had to check each plug one by one. I started the process, but then he took over, and I stayed at the box to watch the switches. I kept asking him which switches he was flipping and whether he was following the electrician’s instructions, but he didn’t answer. I started getting frustrated because he wasn’t responding, so I went into the other room to ask him again. I asked if he was doing things the way we were told, and when he ignored me again, I snapped and called him out for acting like an a** hole.

Now, I know I lost my temper, and I’m not saying I handled it well, but being ignored like that really bothered me—especially because he knows that’s something I can’t stand. That’s when things escalated. He called me a b, told me to p off, and used other hurtful names. I never called him anything like that. I tried to explain why I reacted the way I did, but he just kept saying hurtful things. I’m owning up to the fact that I lost my cool, but his words really cut deep.
I’ve apologized to him, but he hasn’t apologized to me, and it’s been weighing on me.

OP posts:
AgathaX · 31/01/2025 15:11

Why would you want to bother confronting him? He won't change. He has a bad temper and doesn't respect you.
Surely you don't want to live your life with someone like that?

Endofyear · 31/01/2025 15:15

Why do you normally try and brush it off when he speaks to you like that? I wouldn't be in a relationship with anyone who spoke to me like that. You don't have to put up with it. Why are you?

speedydatingD0Tuk · 31/01/2025 15:24

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

spacepies · 31/01/2025 15:37

category12 · 31/01/2025 15:05

Because he has the pattern of behaviour of verbally abusing her and her snapping at him was a one-off. 🙄

Sounds like they both have a pattern of the same behaviour.

category12 · 31/01/2025 17:56

spacepies · 31/01/2025 15:37

Sounds like they both have a pattern of the same behaviour.

Yes indeed - his to verbally abuse her, her to brush over it.

Jumpingthruhoops · 11/03/2025 10:17

So, you called him an arsehole first yet he's the bad guy for then telling you to piss off!? Erm... 🤔

Jumpingthruhoops · 11/03/2025 10:20

category12 · 31/01/2025 17:56

Yes indeed - his to verbally abuse her, her to brush over it.

Sorry, I'm confused... she verbally abused him first, no?

Iamallowedtodisagreewithyou · 11/03/2025 10:21

spacepies · 31/01/2025 14:48

You both sound like teenagers tbh name calling at each other.

If someone is pissing me off or annoying me to a point i really cant deal with it yes darn right im going to tell them to fuck off and leave me a alone.

I kind of agree to this.

If you stepped aside to let him deal with it you should have let him deal with it. Not breathe over his shoulder and demand to know what switch he was flicking and who told him to flick what and when and why

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