When you knew!

[MissFliss00]

Was there a ‘lightbulb’ moment when you just knew that your ex was so utterly crap towards you? I’ll go first. Had just discovered his 2nd affair with a mutual work colleague. We had had another baby between the affairs and he promised I could trust him. I couldn’t. So I was distraught, baby was two months old and I was trying to ask him how he could do what he had just done. His reply, I really wish you wouldn’t wear those pyjamas (loose voluminous pjs which at the time were v comfy) as they are really unattractive. I can laugh about it now but my goodness, what a thing to be fixated on! The

Standing in my home (which I paid for) and on a day off from my good job, late 20’s, very sorted and told him I’d had enough.
Drink, drugs, lying, going missing, developing paranoia meaning he was coming to my home to check I wasn’t with someone else and on the final occasion, searching through my bin.
And on his way out he shouted…
You were not good enough to be my wife or the mother of my kids anyway!
He knew at some point I would have liked to have had kids and settle down, too.
I sat there in shock, and then decided I was done.
And I was!

Well he was a prince wasn’t he?!!!

When he knew the fact I had CSA wrought on me and used it against me years later.

Mine was when my now ex husband said to me 'I barely tolerate you and you have a fat arse but you should shut up and put up as we live in a nice house'. Filled for divorce that week...

He'd moved out but was still coming round (when he could be arsed) to see our just turned a year old twins.

Both of them were poorly and I was absolutely demented. I ended up asking If he could please stay the night as I didn't feel like I could cope with two poorly babies alone. He made up some total bullshit about the landlord coming the next day and him needing to tidy up. I realised at that moment that he really didn't care about us...his wife and children.

I walked into the next room and sobbed so brokenly I still feel sick when I think about it. I genuinely felt like my heart had broken in two.

After my dad died and my XDP managed to make it all about himself and was vile to me for the next six months. I would have left then if I’d had the energy.

And last year, when I got taken into hospital in huge amounts of pain, he left me to go abroad on a trip to see a family member. I told him to go despite the pain and feeling neglected in hospital. But thought when he was away, he would be wracked with guilt and would want to make it up to me. Barely heard from him while he was away and when he got back, he didn’t seem to care about me much at all. I managed to get tickets to an event when I was just out of hospital and I asked him (while he was abroad) if he would go with me. He said no. There was no effort to make it up to me for leaving me in huge amounts of pain, doped up to my eyeballs on morphine, and not knowing what was going on in hospital. That was the lightbulb moment for me.

We are in the process of splitting up.

When I realised how easy it was for him to look me in the eyes and lie. And when I stopped questioning the lies and let him believe that I believed him.