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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

My bf keeps a love letter from his ex in his sidetable

1 reply

Crystalfilm · 30/01/2025 15:31

Long story short, my boyfriend and I of four years moved in together with the intention of moving our relationship forward. While cleaning up our apartment, I noticed that he still has a small leather notebook shelved on his nightstand in our bedroom.

The issue I have with it is that it was a small notebook that he and his ex (before he an I got together and whom he also shares a child with) used during their relationship to write love notes to each other. I know he knows what the notebook is and didn't forget it there as he moved his furniture from his old apartment in our new one. The reason why I know it has love letter in it that they wrote to each other is because a year or so ago, I had been dusting/cleaning noticed how beautiful it was (engraved leather notebook with flowers) and noticed her name written on one of the flipped up pages (My dearest -her name-)

I don't have an issue that he has memories from ex's. I'm not saying he has to burn it or throw it away. He has boxed/thrown away pictures of said ex, but is choosing to keep this, which is ok IMHO. It can be stored away in the attic or something, as I have some mementos still from my ex whom I also share a child with. But those are packed away to be saved for our kid. But why does my bf still have it shelved in his sidetable?....what makes matters worse is that he put love letters/post-its from me next to it. So its not like he forgot that it was there.

I feel like asking him as I find it weird that he has love letters from the both of us in the same place, and next to the bed that we share together. But I don't know how. Am I overthinking things?

OP posts:
TipsyJoker · 30/01/2025 15:57

You’re uncomfortable with it, so you should tell him so. Just say what you said here, you don’t have a problem with him keeping it but you do have a problem with it being out and next to your bed. If he has an issue with that, then you should be worried. It’s weird to have it out and on the bedside table.

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