GFM set up to get out of a nasty relationship

[SPMK1]

Hi, I have been coercivEly controlled by my partner for quite a number of years. He has never raised his hand to me but controls all other ways including financially. As the kids have gotten older I can see the same patterns, he doesn’t like that they can now think for themselves. This was a real wake up call for me. I decided to go back to school to set myself up for leaving whilst being able to support my kids, I had a degree I could fall back on, and am just about to sit my final exam to become a solicitor and he has discovered the funds and withdrew them. I have set up a go fund me this morning secretly and anonymously but I obviously cannot share on my own social media etc does anyone know now I could get the word out without exposing my identity? I am very much walking on egg shells.

Speak to your University's welfare officer, explain the situation, show them the bank statements etc and see if there's anything they can do to help.

Speak to your bank. Someone who is not you has fraudulently made a withdrawal on your account; how did they let that happen? What can they do to rectify the situation?

If you fear physical retribution from your husband, speak to the police and women's aid.

You need emotional and physical support as much as financial at this stage.

Were the funds in a joint account? Or your own account?

If he has stolen your money then go to the police. I don't think a go fund me is appropriate for this.

Same as pp, if he’s stolen your money from your account, go to the police and report him for theft. While you’re at it, report him for his abuse and coercive control and apply to the court for an occupation order to prevent him re-entering the family home. Speak to women’s aid for advice and support.

I agree that the Go Fund Me is a red herring, and she needs to get away from the coercive control.

If the funds went into a joint account, he hasn’t stolen them. This is why we need an answer on this point as her next steps are different. If they were in her account then yes, she goes to the police and reports it as a crime.

If she’s given him access, PIN etc she is probably on dodgy ground - I don’t know about that situation but I do know that both of them can take money out of a joint account legally:

https://blog.moneysavingexpert.com/2019/06/martin-lewis--financial-abuse--joint-accounts-and-managing-money/#joint

If he’s stolen money from you, go to the police.

Billies thrive from the silence of their victims.

Once more people know what he’s doing, he’ll change his tune.

A GoFundMe is not appropriate.