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[heartsofmine]

Opinions please
I live in a big town up north. Won't say where as may be outing but my friends and this is all of them are always making comments as I live on new estate in a less characterful town. It is a lovely roomy house needing some redecoration etc but I haven't invited any friends for years and just meet in a cafe or restaurant as I just don't want them in my house.
One of my friends was terrible for backhanded comments but being better last couple yrs but now moving on made a few comments again about new builds/the area we live in that they are moving away from etc. previously had said they wouldn't live where I live on new build...
Just makes me feel shit about where I live and I am now shutdown to people visiting except a couple of close relatives.
I won't change now as don't feel safe emotionally having friends in my home judging. I am shocked and saddened at how bitchy other women can be. I have never said anything remotely negative about someone else's home or where they live even if not my to my taste.
Same re holidays we go on. If I say we going to somewhere they will say what about going here instead. Or question me about what we have done with not many oh that's nice etc
I am getting older now and feeling low and this has just made me feel like I'm not keen on mixing with anyone again.

The problem is them, not you. Hopefully you can meet some better friends.

You don't need another house, you need new friends.

I have got lots of friends to meet for coffee but I don't really enjoy the meetings recently!

There is a real snobbery I feel if you live in a new build.
I could live in a 300000 less end of terrace character and people would love it

I moved to a brand new build estate in 2024 and I’ve had nothing but awful comments. One used the word shithole to describe new builds, they wouldn’t ever live in one etc.

The funniest part is I’ve been living in my own various homes for 15 years while this so called friend has never moved out of their childhood bedroom.

My house is beautiful. The area is very friendly but quiet and there is nothing wrong with it so I feel it comes from pure malice.

I live in an old listed building, my best friend lives in a new build - it’s never even occurred to us to comment negatively on each others homes. I can understand the appeal of new builds, especially given the costs of maintaining older buildings! My friend has always preferred new properties, we just have different preferences which is fine. Snobbery is ridiculous. You need more down to earth friends!

Your so called friends sound horrible. What does it matter to them where you live if you are happy? I would challenge any comment made, call them out on being rude and tell them to keep their judgemental comments to themselves. Honestly OP you need new friends who are not so critical!

Yeah it's not been as much recently but this one friend is now moving on and has started making snide remarks.
She does not get why I never invite her to my home. The first time she set foot in it years ago she said it was different and criticised one of the rooms decor. It is bigger than previous house not massive just normal size. She never said this is more roomy or anything. She also commented on how garden was overlooked. I never could understand why she couldn't think of one nice thing to say.
One of my other friends said all the women who live in my town seem downtrodden.
There are good and bad areas but I just feel shit about these comments. The only people who made me feel downtrodden was these friends not the town.
Unfortunately when people criticise things I start to feel paranoid that I am living in a shithole of a place.

She does not get why I never invite her to my home

So set her straight.

F: Why don’t you ever invite me to your home?

OP: Because you always shit all over it and insult me.

😂

Your friends sound shit. I wouldn’t waste time around people like that. I think that’s where you’re going wrong. You’ve tried to maintain a relationship with someone who is a bit rubbish when most people would have cut them right off. It sounds like you need some boundaries, not a different house.

Yes I agree

My MIL used to say why have old bricks when you can have new? We love new builds.

Yes that's terrible and so rude!
Enjoy your house and area-sounds lovely.
A true friend would never say this.
I have decided I would rather have no friends than my friends or so called friends. Sick of them.