Cheating

[superplumb]

So afyer 27 years I caught my husband cheating. He said he met her a month ago amd asked for her number. He offered to show me text messages to prove the date.
She booked a hotel on thr 31st dec and paid for it and they had sex. The lies he told me. He even convinced me to change medication over Xmas as I was 'paranoid' he shotef at me when I questioned certain things and made me feel guilty. He swore on the kids lives that he was cheating. He held me while I sobbed saying I feel like il going mad because of my worries about him cheating.
I just feel sick, shit about myself and the pain is unbelievable. I checked his dash cam for one day and he even deleted thr last image which shows him going to a car park to meet her.
We had sex still and even booked a night away for his birthday. We went out the day before woth the kids and had a good time.
When does the pain end. I just can't function. We have two children aged 9 and 11. They've not taken it well i don't think they have processed it.
I've had to block him because I'm messaging him asking him questions wanting detial but he's ignoring me. But I also don't want the details because it hurts more. I'm a mess. I just need positive stories because right now I want to jump in front of a bus.
The other week he came home with a bag of sweets. He told me that a bloke at work got them for the kids becdue he knew they liked them. I knew this was lie. Middle aged men dont do thus for men's children. Turns out it was her. Thus makes me feel sick.
Thanks to medication changed for my 'paranoia ' I've not been well and told him I didn't want to be alone thus sat when he was meant to be going out bowling. He said to get my mim round if I was unwell. He wasnt wiling to cancel it. Yep..she's booked a hotel for them both. I just keep getting intrusive thoughts.

Any advice welcome.

This is disgusting of him. Especially telling you you’re going mad when you knew deep down what he was doing. Can you get a GP appointment urgently to get your medication reviewed? They may also be able to give you something to help you sleep and cope better during the day. What a disgusting low life cheat. He’s thrown his family away for his own selfish needs.

Bastard

How did you find out OP? Did he confess? Is he wanting to put things right?

Personally it would be over for me, not just because he’s a liar and a cheat, but the fact he went so far to get you to take medication as you’re ‘paranoid’. That’s unhinged

This is awful for you OP.
The most upsetting part is the way he has been willing to sacrifice your mental health for the sake of his cheating.
Have you told him the marriage is over?

Yeah it's over. I left my old phone with a tracker on and caught them in a carpark before his work.

Yes. I told him.to move out. I'm completing the 1st part online today. He said he'd transfer the.money for half of this.

Such an awful feeling. Still very raw
People say time heals but I just want to sleep and wake up in a years time

Oh OP, my heart breaks for you. The manipulation and self-doubt he has put on you is horrendous.
Look after yourself, try and talk to friends and family in rl.
You're at the start of a very long journey, but you will get there.
Write down every vile thing he's done to you, read it over when you're feeling weak abd hopefully you'll start to feel angry.
You deserve so much better than this scum of a man. He's no catch and she's no lady.

Thank you. I don't want to get angry really i just want to feel nothing and be numb to him. I don't want him to twke any head space at all.