scared to date again

[Noeey]

Has anyone been scared to date again after a long period of being single? I just keep reading horror stories about how awful dating is now which doesn't help! but equally I don't want to be alone anymore, has anyone been scared to date again but just pushed themselves to get back out there?

I’m not scared, I’m just really not interested, dating apps are absolutely terrible, and I never seem to meet anyone in person. I’m 34 single 5 years. It does feel a bit young to resign myself to not meeting anyone but at the same time I don’t feel like I want a relationship so 🤷‍♀️😅

All the horror stories are a pretty accurate representation of online dating tbh - there are decent people on there but you have to filter through a sea of twats to find them.

i know some are happy single but i definitely want to find love again. maybe i need to hear some positive stories there must be some 😂

33 and I feel the same.

Although I'm not ready yet and won't be for a while as been single just over a year, I literally am worried for my future 🤣🤣🤣 dating apps, men these days and the stories I've read have really made me think about future dating... 🙈

I met my partner at 37, after 10 years with a lying, cheating, time waster. I was terrified of OLD. Keep an open mind. I went on 2 dates, one was with the best human in the world that I’m now in a long term, healthy, loving, committed relationship with

@Itschristmasssss that's a lovely positive old story. So there is hope then..

unfortunately my partner left me after 20 odd yrs together and 2 young kids. I've remained single 2 yrs now, I'm still to terrified to give another man a chance. The way in which my relationship fell apart destroyed a big part of me, I'm still fixing recovering from it. I tried the old scene but after 4 days I deleted my account. It scared me even more off dating. Just men looking one nighters or creeps. I struck up conversation with a few men but i found it all very strange messaging. I'd far rather meet someone randomly when out rather than old but I know those days are gone.
I've heard so many horror stories about old that it's made me so paranoid to try again. Well I ever be ready for the old scene?

Yes. I haven't been single for very long, but already met someone fairly recently who presented himself to be somebody he most definitely is not and I most definitely will not be seeing him again! Too many red flags to even mention here. Not giving up though. It hasn't made me jaded or cynical. You really do have to be patient. There's someone I see around all the time who works locally and I'm planning on asking him out as going on a first date with someone after aaaaaaaaaaaages with the same fella has given me a lovely confidence boost. Stay optimistic X

There definitely will be positive stories. Online dating isn’t a disaster for everyone…Also a lot of it is luck really - coming across someone decent and normal I mean.

I have zero tolerance to the crap on apps though, and tbh the need to filter through so many creeps is depressing.

I'm not scared to date, and for the most part I enjoy the actual dates (trawling through OLD is another story...).

What I'm scared of is getting into a new relationship. I am so jaded and find men so disappointing. I've done the whole falling in love thing and guess what... those relationships end just as easily as the lacklustre ones! I know I need to open up to find my person, but at 35 and after 3 failed serious relationships and countless short term flings, I feel as though I don't have it in me to put myself through that again.

My life is fab, filled with wonderful friends, a fulfilling career, great hobbies, a busy social life and exciting travel plans - and this is part of the problem. How can I let a man into this fantastic life I've built for myself and risk him fucking it up?

I'm looking to see a therapist this year to work through the above...

I've done the whole falling in love thing and guess what... those relationships end just as easily as the lacklustre ones

@Crushed23 this resonates big time with me and I fully agree.. Ive done the whole falling in love thing as well. It went long term from teens to our 30s, made a family and still ended, even though I believed it was forever. My thing on love came crashing to the ground. If some you love and trusted all your life can burn you then so can anyone.

It's messed up my outlook on finding another relationship and doing it all over again with someone new. It petrifies me
I hope I get myself out of this mind frame but for now it's protecting me

I have zero interest after being abandoned by exh a year ago. I've come to the conclusion that most of the bad things that have happened in my life have been because of men, so I am absolutely not going back there!

I’m quite a bit older (50’s) and been single 5 years and the longer im single the less dating appeals to me

I’ve never really dated. With my ex H of 27 years we knew each other as mates before we became a couple and so I’ve never done the meeting someone in a pub, swapping numbers and meeting up thing. It’s an alien world to me.

Im very social and I go out most weekends but never really get talking to anyone other than the people I’m with. And I’ve tried OLD on and off but I don’t enjoy it. Chatting to random strangers is just tedious for me. I did push myself to go on a few dates but I wasn’t attracted to any of them - well one I was but he had more baggage than Heathrow so it was a no go

Do I’m not scared per se but just can’t be arsed to go through the process

You know on and offline, the people who always have the worst dating stories are people who don't actually date anyone. I know some women who give ALLLLLLLLL the advice on modern dating, but they've been married from before dating apps were even a thing. What the hell would they know about red flags on a Tinder profile?!

I joined online dating early December after being single for 7 years. The whole experience terrified me and I didn’t really enjoy the whole concept of OLD. I was being super fussy and scared so found it hard to actually swipe on anyone. Ended up giving myself a big talking to and started some selective right swipes! I joined at the same time as a friend which really helped and gave me the initial push that I needed.

I have been really lucky. I chatted to only three men and met with just one after three weeks on the apps. He is a lovely guy and my dating apps are well and truly deleted😊 I appreciate that mine is not a normal OLD experience, but there are definitely good men out there.

Keep an open mind! I didn't find online dating that bad at all and I'd been single for nearly 10 years! Don't get me wrong there were a fair few instances where boring chitchat never materialised into an actual meet up, but that was as bad as it got for me, I met some really nice guys on there including my amazing partner who is also the father of my two children and puppy 🥰 I can also think of at least five friends who have met their husbands/long term partners online. Try not be scared, yes the dating pool is much smaller in your 30s and beyond but there are still plenty of nice guys out there who are in the same situation as you!

Sorry I more meant over news stories I've read has kind of scared me about the kind of men out there like last night I read about a man that got sent to prison for stalking his ex and they hadn't even been together long (not necessarily online dating as such) just the kind of men out there