Sadness over toddlers feelings

[Zoono]

This will probably sound daft but I need advice. I co parent my DD (22 months) with my ex partner who I get along with. My DD has grown really fond of her dad's girlfriend and they see each other once a week. DD has barely said that she loves anyone until the past week ,although myself and her dad regularly tell our DD how loved she is. In the past week my DD has only told me once that she loves me but won't stop saying that she loves her dad's girlfriend. I'm the main care giver and tbh it's breaking my heart, to hear my little girl say this so much. Am I being irrational or am I simply not good enough for my DD. I also get along with the newish girlfriend, so I don't resent her at all

She is still a baby and she has no idea what it means to love someone. She is copying what she has heard. She loves you because you are her mum and her main carer. The new girlfriend is just a new person who is interesting to her. She doesn't actually love her.

You aren't being irrational but of course you are everything to your little girl! It's just a fact that you have to do the drudgery part of parenting and your ex'd new GF can be all unicorns and rainbows. When she's so young of course that's appealing, but when she's hurt or sad it's you who she needs and wants!

That's understandably devastating but @ApolloandDaphne has hit the nail on the head. She doesn't know what love is and she can't understand what her parroting feels like. Try and focus on the ways she shows you love or the ways she needs you. Her little hand in yours.

Thank you, I'm struggling with low mood atm , so I'm struggling to keep things in perspective but having other rational opinions has helped a bit.

Oh sweetheart! There is no-one more important to your little one than you.

I would try to frame things along the lines of she’s also happy when she visits her dad and his partner. Which is good. She’ll be happy to get back to mum, too. 😊

It means nothing. Honestly. Your dd knows you are mum, and she will adore you warts and all. At this age, she barely sees you as a separate person from herself.

Someone is saying to her “do you love gf?” Either the gf or your ex. If it’s said often enough it will get repeated. Maybe they give her a sweetie when she says it.

Try it yourself - you can get toddlers to repeat anything if you say it often enough.

Don’t try it with a swear word though. Those stick, and they will come out with it at the worst moment.

Little kids are fickle about toys and everything. The girlfriend is a novelty. She will love her mum more than anyone. Try not to worry xx