My DH thinks the best thing about us ./me is the sex

[whatisforteamum]

We've been through loads together in 38 yrs.
Menopause and opposite work patterns put paid to sex in the last 3 yrs.
So we've had lots of conversations where I say I'm unhappy and he mentions sex.
Little effort from him and some sloppy habits.No I'm not perfect.
Last night we had a heart to heart where I ask him what he likes about me.
He said the sex.!!
I know it's part of a marital relationship however I work hard, we've had 2 adult dcs together.
I feel a bit offended tbh.
Am I being too sensitive and should I be glad he tries to sneak a peek of my naked body and still fancies me.
I just feel used.

I wouldn’t necessarily equate what he’s said with him just appreciating you as a convenient hole. Sex is so much more than that. He probably means the emotional connection, the closeness, spending time together etc.

I also think sex may be front of mind if he’s missing. I will be a huge gap in your relationship if he is involuntarily celibate. This may also be his clumsy way of letting you know how important it is to him and how much he misses it.

Mooseandsquirrelloveflannel I'm sorry to read that.
Thank goodness your DH is thoughtful.

@whatisforteamum

I get you. DH and I have been married about as long as you and if, after a lifetime of creating a home, building a family, wonderful memories and shared hardships and sorrows, he told me that what he liked about me was 'the sex' frankly I'd be so hurt. It wouldn't make me think he didn't love me per se, just that he didn't 'value' me in the way I believed that he valued me. As a wife and 'helpmeet'.

And no, I don't believe that he said 'the sex' when what he meant was love and the 'closeness' a long married couple has. Apples and oranges. Could he possibly have been joking and then couldn't or wouldn't admit it?

No.i think it is his favourite thing about the relationship.
He always thought we had a great love life.
Chemistry is nice but love and caring would be good.