Everything is ruined

[Honeybeebeez]

I’ve ruined everything I know I’ll get judgement but I’m so lost and my heart is breaking. I drink too much I’ve had a lot of stress going on with family and miscarriage last year. I got drunk and had sex with a guy when he walked me home, I didn’t want too but it was easier to say yes. Then he’s messaged threatening quite a few times to show my partner the messages and chat we had which I’ll admit was flirty. Bf knows I do this the flirty bit
but I gave in and let him have sex with him to shut him up. Then he messaged more and I’d had enough of the threats so I told my partner. Obviously been very hard for him, he rationally went to see this guy and told him to back off. He does believe me and it’s completely true what I’ve told him
but I’ve ruined everything and I’m so hurt and sos he. I don’t know what to do I just feel broken completely broken
I wish I’d been braver and got help before it got to this stage I know it’s all my fault. But I was scared of this guy honestly he’s some sort of psycho

I don't want to read and run but that sounds like a sexual assault and you may need to get the police involved as well if he is threatening you.

If this guy continues to threaten and harass you report him to the police.

I don’t know the ins and outs of the law exactly on this but if you felt “pressured” into consenting, that isn’t consent and this would fall under sexual assault… especially with the threatening behaviour.
I’d go to the Police, at the very least to have some sort of restraining order on this man.
Look after yourself OP, you sound vulnerable and might need to work on your confidence and advocate for yourself!

He’s definitely taken advantage of me not wanting to put many details here but the messages are come meet me now to have sex, very threatening. And he threatens to tell everyone things that aren’t true and makes me feel so uncertain and paranoid
I wish I’d of shared what was going on, I’ve lived in fear for months now, and I’m so very tired and sad. I tried to say no and he wouldn’t have it

Do you feel you could report him to the police with your boyfriend’s support?

I don’t feel they would list or take me seriously

This is so sad. You made a mistake, under pressure. I'm not judging you. We've all done it, one way or another.

Don't lose those messages. You sound frightened of him. Go to the police.

I think what your feeling is guilt. I think most of us have had sex with someone then regretted it afterwards but that doesn't make it a crime .You can tie yourself in knots making excuses but you have a boyfriend but were flirting with another guy which led to you shagging him. The other man is clearly no prince but if you lie down with dogs you'll get fleas. If i were you id cut both men off to be single and stress free.

I'd keep evidence of all the messages. Block him and report it to the police. They may do absolutely nothing other than have a chat with him BUT at least it's on record should he start leaking anything or slandering you etc. Stay clear of him and please try to stop ying yourself in knots. Any of us is capable of making mistakes. I don't condone being too drunk as a reason to cheat, I think that's a poor excuse, given its the excuse I was heard myself when my ex husband found out he got another woman pregnant! Drink doesn't make you just jump into having sex with someone else. But I do believe you are genuinely sorry and remorseful and I do feel for you and this other man sounds like a prick, no one deserves to be blackmailed. Please report him so its on record and just block his number so you can get some peace to heal. It might all very well just be him saying something that he's never gonna actually do to bully and scare you, once he has the cops at his door he'll know you mean business or speak to a solicitor for some legal advice