Would you want to know re. Affair?

[Feelquiteterrible]

Tough one I know..

Would you want to know re. An affair?

The partner has cheated multiple times, the person has been with the person who cheated for most of their life (late teens-late 30s), they have 3 children, debt, mortgage, holidays, busy lives, memories.. together.

Or will they just be blissfully ignorant trying to get through in their own way?

I have been burnt in telling someone about an affair (I was not part of the affair, I feel i must add) before so wouldn’t go there again in telling someone personally.

If you know for certain that this person is cheating and you know it isn't just gossip or people making assumptions then yes I would tell the other partner. I don't see how ignorance is bliss on any level.
It is totally up to them what they do with the information but you are giving them the choice. You are giving them the opportunity to protect thir health and wellbeing.

If there have been multiple affairs, they probably already know and have decided to turn a blind eye.

Would I want to know? There is no easy answer to that one. You think you want to know, but once you do, the genie can't go back in the bottle.

Who are you in the situation? Is the spouse being cheated on a family member of yours?

The situation sounds very messy. If possible, I'd keep out of it.

It’s difficult for sure. I could never again be around my friends who’d known about the affair and not told me. I could see their point of view, why they didn’t speak up, but they’d known something that was hurting me and the longer it went on was going to hurt me more and never said a word.

Doesn’t anyone tell the cheater that they have a week to own up or the beans will be spilled anymore?

Yes. I don't think it's a tough one personally, unless there's DV involved.

Yes because its my right to choose to stay with an unfaithful partner or not. I cant imagine why someone would not tell the person their partner was cheating

I would find it hard to believe anyone could be so oblivious to not have an idea or know their partner was a serial cheat.

My sister agonised about whether to tell me something about my then DP I was pregnant at the time (it was something serious but not an affair) she cared enough about me to tell me, even if I wouldn’t speak to her afterwards. Did I break up with my DP yes ultimately, but it did give me the chance to talk to him about it first. Did I thank her for telling me YES

God yes I'd want to know. Anything else is just living a lie, and YES plenty of women are oblivious to their serial cheating husbands!

Put yourself in their shoes. Personally I'd want to know I wasn't living a lie and people I know cared enough about me to be honest, even if my partner didn't.

Yes. Always & it fucking hurts.

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Edit as just realised how old this is!

Nope. I don’t want to know if possible, and I don’t want other people outside my relationship deciding things for me.