This is going to be so so outing but I don't think I care anymore.
My dad has been with his current partner a good few years now, his adoptive mum (biologically his auntie) passed away and left him a house, and about 100k. He met his current partner around the time my nan was dying.
His brother has died, he had nothing, he was a lifelong alcoholic (him and the rest of the brothers went into an orphanage while my dad went to his auntie as he was only a baby)
The remaining brothers have asked for a contribution to the funeral costs, they got into an argument because his partner turned around on the phone (convo on loudspeaker) and said we've got no money. I think my dad's brother was shocked knowing my dad was left with a fair bit, and their lifestyle tells a different story. Anyway, my dad is now saying he isn't going to his own brothers funeral because of the way his other brother spoke to his partner.
I'm just so annoyed at this, I think he will regret it.
I'm so worried he's severing his remaining ties with his family for this woman.
This woman controls every aspect of his life. She told him he needed to go on antidepressants when he dared stand up for himself when she felt spoke to him like shit/like a child, and since then he's just sits there with his tail between his legs not saying anything. It's like he doesn't have his own mind anymore.
My mum had even noticed when she had bumped into him round here, she'll say your dad isn't the same person, what's wrong with him?
His partner, She talks the talk and makes it seem like she has my dad's best interests at heart, but I can see through it and I always have, she is with him for the money.
He has done up her house, new kitchen, garden, bathroom, holidays several times a year, moved into a new house as she sold her old one, now that needs everything bloody doing to it ! Also, no my dad isn't on the deeds.
One time we needed to lend a couple of hundred as my dh hadn't been paid from a job, he said yes but don't tell partner cause she'll go mad. I think that says it all doesn't it...
Omg there is so much I could say, but the gist of it is she is bleeding him dry. And he's fucking letting her ! He is going to be left with absolutely nothing, and when she has no use for him he'll be out on his arse and it'll be me picking up the pieces.
I've told him for years to stop spending all his money, he lies to me and says partner pays for this, partner pays for that, erm no she is on benefits ! She couldn't afford all this stuff.
I need to broach this with my dad, I need to advice on what exactly to say. I know he isnt going to listen but I'm hoping I can convince him to go to the funeral. To be honest I'm pretty ashamed he's said they've no money to contribute, that's his brother for gods sake. It's like he didn't matter at all. Surely it's times like this that family pull together ? I know she is controlling it all. She won't let him contribute because she sees it as HER money.
If you're reading this partner, I'm sorry but I can't stay silent any longer while my dad is being controlled in this way. I've sat by for too long. This is too far. You might make him think all these things are his idea, but we all know it's control. He knows he's completely dependent on you and you know that too.