Was my girlfriends colleague trying to make a move on her? He invited her to the hotel room

[GoldHedgehog]

So long story short, my gf had this guy friend when we got together he was very needy and annoying. Fast forward and it turned out he had feelings for her and kept making up excuses like his mum being ill and other things like depression for attention from her. He got outed when in the end we found out he was posting pictures having a great time and going out at the exact times he would message her for sympathy. He then started getting upset and being funny with her every time she mentioned me. She ended up blocking him and it had been a year.

Fast forward and she tried to get a new job in a new role, was struggling and then got offered a job at a new company. She has been independently working so far on getting trained up with courses etc while the company pay for it. We however found out that the guy worked there, which caused a bit of a discussion but no big deal, she also then broke down crying and said when they were in college and she was really young so over 10 years ago, they got really drunk and she remembers flashes of sleeping with him, this was well before we were together

A company meeting then happened the other day, first one and she had to awkwardly go and knew he would be there. They hadn't spoken the whole time but him and his colleagues kept looking over and she said kept eyeing her up and down. As she was going to bed at 2am he ran after her and followed her to the elevator and said they had to speak, she said well let's speak then and he said no in private not in public and it's urgent we speak. He then invited her up to his hotel room and said don't worry you don't have to sit next to me if you don't want we have separate chairs. She said she felt pressured and said yes as he said it was urgent and he seemed upset, went with him and then was like what the hell am I doing and left straight away before sitting down. He followed her out to room and she said she felt uncomfortable he said don't worry we can speak in public and then asked how she was doing, what she will be up to and how he wishes she was in his team so he could train her...so then left and went to bed.

She felt bad as well as she wasn't thinking and apologised to me and realised she shouldn't have went and it was a dodgy situation.

Was he trying to make a move on her? He claims he didn't realise she was working there and saw her all night and didn't want to leave things awkward as they were long friends and thought it was fine to invite her to his room as they were close friends, he also changed his story like twice from it was urgent to actually he just wanted to catch up as he hadn't seen her in ages

Course he was trying to make a move on her.
you don’t have tell her, because she will be avoiding him like the plague.

It's a moot point really because your gf clearly has zero interest in him, and he's clearly not a good guy, if anything she wants to be keeping hold of any contact he makes, or recording incidents (including this) ready for the inevitable HR case she needs to make when he goes stalkery again. Please don't make her feel bad about this, dealing with men who behave this why whilst trying to remain professional, civil and friendly is hard enough without worrying about a bfs feelings too. She's going to need your trust, love and support for a tricky situation I suspect....

hes definitely making a move on her. What a pain. She may need to speak to HR if it continues. Meanwhile encourage
her to be businesslike and refuse to be alone with him.

100% Move in progress!

I'll tell you what that was one long story especially if that's the edited version

I'll tell you that was one pointless comment that you could have kept to yourself.

My only query would be at a company meeting that she was reluctant to go to, why go to bed at 2am. It does sound fishy.

He sounds like a creep. I think make a move on her sounds too ‘nice’, the need to talk in ‘private’ sounds creepy and ominous to me.

She needs to keep a record of it, however if I was her I’d be wanting to keep my distance and find a new job.

Also she sounds traumatised from what happened 10 years ago. I hope it was consensual, but even that it giving me weird vibes. Hope she’s ok.

He sounds creepy as hell. I’m not sure ‘make a move’ is what we’re talking about here. She was clearly uncomfortable and he knew he was clearly pushing her boundaries.

This, absolutely. He sounds like a creepy stalker, she needs to keep her distance as he may turn nasty.

It's been a year with no contact, the only reason she's anywhere near him now is for work, he isn't getting the message is he.

Exactly! And if he is obsessed with her he may think it’s ‘fate’ she’s turned up where he works or may have even convinced himself she has mutual feelings for him too and has planned this.

I may however just of watched too many documentaries about creepy men… but he is not understanding boundaries.

I’ll tell you what you wouldn’t have made that useless comment if the OP was a woman.

She absolutely needs your support in this situation, he sounds dodgy as.

She should be very firm with him, document their interactions, never be alone with him and inform HR if his behaviour escalates.