A good while back I found out the Dh was having an affair. He was also having online relations that led to a phone relationship if not more with another woman.
My life fell apart. I had trusted and loved DH like no other and I couldn't believe it was happening to me.
Right in the middle of all this going on I met up with a male friend. I had fun, I felt like my old self and I was able to not think about what was going on in my life. We spent the day shopping and laughing. We spent the evening in the local pub, we talked for hours. When it got late we headed back together. He held me in his arms and I slept, I hadn't slept so well in a long time. In the morning we made love, we didn't have sex we made love.
Anyway when it came to DH and I making the split final. We just couldn't do it. There was something there a small spark of hope that we held on to. With lots of talking , relate sessions and lots of hard work we pulled through this time.
18 months on and we are still together, the trelationship is going okay and the trust is building.
Yet through all of this talking I have never said what happened with my friend. I couldn't bring myself to say what I had done.
It's too late now. I feel awful because that day/night was so right ( I know it was the wrong thing to do). I feel that I have betrayed DH by not telling him what I have done, that we have worked so hard getting over what happened. I do love DH. Yet I keep thinking about the time with friend.
I expect to get slated for this and have name changed, I don't expect any sympathy. I made my bed and am now laying in it. I just had to not keep the secret anymore.
Thanks for listening in advance.