Medium distance relationships- how do you make them work?

[Sundaycoffee]

Currently in a relationship with someone who lives 25 miles away. We spend a lot of time together: Wednesday evening to Monday morning.
Our routine is for me do drive to his Wednesday evening (we both work from home on a Thursday and Friday) so this works for us and then I go back to the offics on Monday from his.
However, I'm starting to feel a bit like I'm just living out of a suitcase. I get home Monday night wash my clothes and repack them again.
I feel like I'm seeing less of my friends and family as doing a 50 mile round trip to meet someone for a coffee seems long (not to mention expensive).
I've stopped working out as much as my gym is in my home town.
He can't come to mine during the week due to his very specific work set up and screens he needs for his job, whereas I can just work from his kitchen table on my laptop.
I'm not sure what the answers are here, I guess I just want the best of both worlds!
I suppose I'm just intrigued to know what others do, their routine in a middle distance relationship and how much time they spend together?
Obviously he can still pop to the gym, nip out for a pint with a friend or to see his parents whenever he wants so it feels like I'm the one making the sacrifices but then again I want to spend time with him!

Go on Friday instead? He could come to you some weekends too surely.

I’m in a similar position. I go down Wednesday to Friday, and we both go to mine from Friday to Sunday. Could you consider that at least every other weekend? Or don’t go down all the time and let him come over on the Friday and go back on the Monday? It looks like you are doing all the running and he is doing none of the running. 25 miles isn’t that far. For me it’s only about scoot down the motorway. Also, don’t lose yourself. Remember to put yourself first - if you did you would still go to the gym and see your friends. As a side note, if you are a member of a chain gym then can you go to a different branch when you visit?

I’d do Fri eve to Sun eve/Mon morning instead and alternate weekends between yours and his. Otherwise you’re doing all the running here plus pretty much abandoning your friends and family. You won’t combust if you don’t spend 5 days a week together. And if it’s meant to be, it will be. But if it’s not, you’ve not given up your life for his (which sets the tone already that you’re the one making all the effort).

I was in a similar relationship for 5 years, although further than 25 miles (and at one point, different countries). We alternated between locations. For me it was quite fun working in London during the week and having a country retreat/overseas city home for some weekends. But it also gave us both time to see our own friends and family and do different hobbies whilst appreciating each other more when we were together.

Can’t he come to you after work Friday and go home Sunday every other week? It sounds like you’re the one doing all the running while he carries on as normal. Where’s his effort!

How long have you been in this relationship?

I think he needs to do a bit of the running here

I’d go for less time. Must be horrid never to be at home.
and agree why can’t he alternate weekends at yours?

week 1 Friday night - Sunday night/monday mornings at yours

wednesday night - Monday morning you’re at his

then either you don’t see each other til Friday night when he comes to yours again, or if that feels too long, you go back Wednesday night and you both come back Friday eve.

Time apart isn’t a bad thing, keeps it fresh and makes sure you both keep up with independent friends and interests

We both take turns and I pack minimally as we both have a big drawer and wardrobe space at each others house as well as toiletries. So pjs, nightgown, slippers and every day clothes are at his house ( though I sometimes rotate stuff) . So I’ll usually just take my laptop for work, make up bag and anything nice if we are going out. But I am hearing you! Would be so nice to pop round for half hour if he was local bit on the positive we spend so much quality time!

I live 40 miles apart from my OH. We don’t see each other as much as you do. We have DC (from previous relationships) so we see each other EOW when the DC are with other parents and sometimes with the kids. We typically alternate the weekends between houses.
I don’t understand why you always go to his house? You need some time at your house. Surely you never get anything done at home if you go straight to work on Mondays?
I’d change it up so that at least every other week you stay home and he comes to you Friday-Sunday. That way you’d get some time at home to yourself, time to see friends on weekends and some time at his house.