Hi all,
Glad to be here and hoping to seek some perspective and advice. Really much needed.
There is a long backstory but I just wanted to make sure that I don't doubt the intentions of my SO's aunt or caregiver for my son who is around 2.6yrs as I'm meeting with her this Friday for a chat at her request. She helps with caregiving alongside my parents but my boy has progressed to full time school in the past 2 weeks.
Long story short, I was trying to avoid dinner this past Friday, because I wanted time for myself and confirmed that I had forgotten to do some chart audits, which I did at work but there wasn't a deadline to meet in particular. I initially confirmed but then said I won't be able to make it.
I came back home around 8p and was going to go downstairs to say goodbye to Aunt A, but my toddler, Theo was pulling me upstairs.
The next day, my nephew had invited everyone over for dinner including my parents, SO, Theo, Aunt A, roommate (SO's best friend and adopted nephew for Aunt A- another story here). I was not sure if I wanted to buy something as my mom said she was going to buy things to take over but I decided for it and made a trip with my SO and Theo. It was a bit late as Theo didn't want to leave the house. We were going to pick up Aunt A at 6p but on the way back we found out that she was there 10 min earlier and SO mentioned we were on our way back. Aunt A then said that she will be heading over separately. After a few minutes she put in the group chat she suddenly did not feel well and will go home. That's when I texted, the reason for us being out late as Theo didn't sleep well and wouldn't leave the house as she knew we had also went to the market. I also mentioned for her to feel better and sorry to not have caught her. Dinner was extremely awkward with that situation. Later around 3 hrs or so, she texted back in the same conversation with my reply previously with "Bull of a story". She has never sent disparaging remarks by text before but I just came to a realization that I've been gaslighted for the past 15 years or so and in particular for the past 3 years when Theo came into the world. Of course the memories aren't so clear but there were times where I would doubt myself as a good daugher, mother or partner related to her comments or remarks. The next day after she texts this, without further texts or calls to my SO and I, she randomly asks via text, if we could meet the following day, Monday and she signed her name in the text as Auntie A, which she has never done before. I replied that I had a doctors appointment and had to clean the house before LNY but we could meet another time. I asked for Friday and there was back and forth about how she thought that the schedule won't work out as I would come back late and will need to have dinner and then help with putting Theo to sleep. I explained the schedule that it will work and that SO can help with getting Theo to sleep.
I just want to know if this is a natural reaction as I feel weird about the sudden request since we are close enough to meet for lunch/dinner/etc. separately, as I do not know what to expect with our upcoming chat. The only time I have been more deeply involved is when she fell out of a relationship with my SO's mom as she wanted to make the decision for us instead of my SO thinking that it is our decision to make with having my parents over after a stressful situation as they were also causing some stress at the time. This interaction was entirely through text and my advice was to let it go as she is not there in person to work on mediation and it is hard to on the phone. It is extremely uncomfortable as my parents do not know the real reason for their fallout and I was made aware that she had told them another reason, which I don't remember. Other times would be a discussion of her medical checkups. We have not met outside separately before and normally she contacts my SO but my SO did not know she planned to meet only me and neither of us understand what the conversation will be for.
Sorry for the very long passage. Just a bit unsure of what to expect. I left out all the details for now because there is too much to tell.