Is this normal?

[JodieG1]

Ds2 is ill, had a temp of 105 last night so he's been bf lots and waking lots. I co-sleep with him all night so am up with him, that's fine I'm ok with that.

So this evening me and dh are taking it in turns to go up and settle him when he wakes, bearing in mind he's still ill and getting 4 molars.

He's been waking every 45 mins or so. So he just wakes up again and dh is due to go up. He starts moaning about how it's counter productive going up to be with him as he falls asleep (because he cba I think), and I say yes, but he's ill right now. He clearly thinks we should leave him distressed and alone.

So after a few more sentances of him complaining he gets up and kicks the baby walker (like a hold on and walk with thing) right over the room. I ask him if he has to be so violent and he tells me to fuck off.

I didn't say it in a nasty way at all.

This is his usual behaviour tbh and I'm wondering if this is ok/normal.

I'm often sworn at etc. Never apologises. It is stressful but this is not a one off. I was up every 30 mins with the baby last night so am knackered now but still taking it in turns with him. Don't know what to think anymore.

Madamez even.

Feck - DD is now 21 months old and still bf, and DH supports that (I am the one who wants to stop)

It sounds like he is not making you happy, is bullying and maybe controlling and abusive.

I am not sure what to advise, but someone else will be along

You take care of yourself and you DSs

Whilst it might be fairly common I don't think it's acceptable (for me) but we all have different levels of tolerance and what is fine for one household is a big no-no in others - I know I put up with things lots of others wouldn't and vice versa.

Do you know why he is behaving like this? Could you get some time just the two of you and have a really honest discussion about what you find acceptable and what is not? And also maybe what the consequences of that will be/how it makes you feel?

agree with divastrop, does sound bordering on abusive.

no of course it's not normal or acceptable behaviour.
i've met lots of women with controlling partners who hate extended[or any] breastfeeding.

We've talked about it so many times before. I even left him for a week before we had Ds2 and it made him realise how serious things were. He changed for a while but he has slipped back now, I just don't know what to think anymore.

sounds like he is jealous of you bf.if he thinks stopping bf would make any difference to your ds being unsettled when ill/teething then he cant be very intelligent

it sounds like you want out anyway,maybe you should start making plans to split up?

He really does believe that me stopping bf will make all the difference. I know it won't.

We're going to have a talk when he gets in from work tonight, once the kids are in bed. Unless he's prepared to make some changes then we're pretty much over as far as I'm concerned. It's like I don't have anything left to give.

He sounds very selfish and putting himself first above you and the kids.
It's a lot to expect him to change, but he can if he's serious, you go to couples counselling etc. but he has to want to change, not just make promises to keep you happy and stop you leaving. Thast way nothing will really change.