So me and my child's dad have been split up FOUR years. Our daughter is turning 5 in March. I still to this day am completely always wondering what he's doing, feel like crying when he gets a new girlfriend etc, (he's had 2 since we broke up) And I have NO idea why, because he cheated on me! I should hate him and not care. It's very strange to me. I know for a fact if I didn't have a child with him I honestly would not care about him. I often wonder is it just because of looks to because I find him very attractive. It's weird because I would 1000 percent never get back with him but it still hurts really bad thinking what he done to me and left me alone and I have not trusted or been with another man since. I don't think I'll ever truly move on from it. It's like I will always love him but hate him. It's VERY annoying