What does he want?

[Pikitup81]

So I started working with a guy a couple of months ago, we got on like a house on fire, he is a bit of the office clown and is hilarious. I enjoy a bit of banter too. We freinded on Facebook and started messaging, he would message me all the time, sometimes just lighthearted stuff sometime quite deep but nothing ever flirtatious. I expected he might ask me out or even just want to meet up outside of work but he never did, if I saw him at work he was his usual self but never went out of his way hang around me or anything.

I moved work site last month so have only seem him in person a couple of times but his messages were constant, good morning messages, messaging all day, asking if I'm ok, goodnight messages all of it. And he started adding an x to the messages too. Still never seen him outside of work though.

I started to get a bit tired of the constant messages and I have since worked out he may have a girlfriend, though I have no idea when he sees her cos he's messaging me all day every day. He's never mentioned her, not once even hinted. Fast forward to last week, I had a rough week with a couple of things happening and just needed to switch off, I literally turned my phone off a couple of nights and he messaged me so many times asking if I was ok. I told him repeatedly I was and just needed to switch off, every time I went quiet for a few hours I'd get a message asking again. I went out with freinds after work Thursday and pretty much ignored him all day cos I couldn't summon the energy for him, but sent him a message saying I was ok and had been out. He's pretty much given me the cold shoulder since, still messages but short and sporadic replies. He's gone from 100 to 5 in a day.

I now feel bad that he was just being a mate and was just making sure I was ok and I've just brushed him off. I'm thinking surely he doesn't actually want to ask me out or he would have made that clear by now?

I know I'm over thinking it and that I sound naive about dating and men in general but I think I'm just a people pleaser and don't like if anyone is upset with me. What the hell does/did he want?

Whatever his intention, he's much too demanding of your time and needy. Giving you the cold shoulder because you'd been out and hadn't responded? Nope. He's showing you who he is.

I had one like this , 4 months of constant messages, finally slept with him, slow fade and he was officially with someone else within weeks .

Yeah he's playing games now, taking ages to respond to messages but still being nice. I give up, why can't they just be upfront

But you went from 100 to 5 in a few days. Maybe he’s just taken the hint and moved on.

He wants to shag you. Just shag him or tell him you’re not interested. It’s not hard.

Yeah he still needs to actually portray that to me, I'm not a mind reader. And it usually involves actually seeing the person does it not, he's not once made an effort to ask to see me 🤷‍♀️

Stop messaging him at all. He’s clearly just enjoying the dopamine hit that these messages bring him, and the responses yours bring.
He has no real interest in pursuing anything in person, otherwise he would have asked you out as a romantic interest or a friend.
Get back in the real world. There is a reason people like him act like clowns in public. They have issues.

He’s probably shy or worried you’ll reject him so he’s waiting for you to make the first move after he’s given you enough signals. It’s hard being a man you know.

Whats my job got to do with it