Is this something people do now?

[HmmNo]

I was talking on another group about how hard it is being a single mum and scraping by week after week with pretty much nothing left over. I'm barely getting by these days. I get no maintenance from my ex so things are extremely tight. Someone on another group not in so many words told me they got a new man in order to not struggle and basically for financial reasons?! I mean this never really entered my head as something to do but is this what others are resorting to nowadays in order to survive? I mean I can see why people would but not sure it's something I could do.

I don’t think that many people do that. But, I don’t think any more people do this than they used to, probably a lot less as women generally didn’t have the opportunity to earn as high wages as they do now compared to 100/200 years ago.

Surely this isn't a new thing?
Surely there are always been some women who have entered into relationships primarily to make life financially easier for themselves?

Intuitively I would have thought it was actually harder to do these days when most men expect their partner to be contributing to finances. As opposed to older generations where traditionally the man would expect to support his family.

No, rarely anyone does that.

Reason? Many/most single mums rely on top up benefits even if they work full time.

Therefore by moving a man in they'd lose all benefit and childcare entitlements. So unless the man is willing to pay not only the benefit top ups that have been lost by them moving in, but also go half on bills on top of that. Then there is nothing to gain.

There aren't many men out there willing to move in with a single mum and her kids and also pay through the nose for the privilege to do so.

Then aren't many single mums willing to lose their benefits and childcare entitlements on the whim of a mans good will if their in a precarious financial situation heavily relying on subsides.

Infact a lot of single parents are wary of officially moving a partner in for that very reason I'd say.

Sorry to clarify I was specifically referring to women with children not just women in general. So women looking for a new man to provide for their children.

I know someone who did this. She doesn’t really love him that much but happy for him to help support her and her kids.

Yes that's what this woman was suggesting to me as an option to find a new man to shack up with and provide for my children 😳

lol it’s a no from me 😆 I’ve been a single parent for almost 6 years - been with DP for 5 years and although money is tight, I have absolutely no intention of moving 4 kids of varying ages in together because I value my sanity more than my desire to have designer clothes and posh holidays 😆

Yes it's absolutely a thing.

Years ago, people used to live together as a type of "trial marriage". To see if they were compatible before they tied the knot.

Nowadays, they do so for financial reasons, because they can't afford to run a household on their own.

Quite the reverse for me!

I don't want to move anyone in, and will never get married, because I want my children to inherit any money/the house when I die. They will get nothing from their father. (One of my children is disabled so will never work or probably live by himself).

I'm also proud that I have paid for literally everything for the last 20 years with no help or support whatsoever from their father. I would find it difficult to accept help in any way now from someone new.

I can see why people do it.. just never crossed my mind.

I think that since time immemorial there have been some women who do that. With or without children

Well many women stay in poor relationship for that very reason. So it makes sense that some women will look fur a man to make ends meet.

Indeed, especially on mumsnet.

The problem is, the men KNOW that the woman are stuck and it's these men that behave like vile pricks - abusing their partners and cheating on them because, well, what's she gonna do?

Here’s a woman who’s never read Jane Austen.

I don't believe that they don't fancy the man even a tiny bit, otherwise it would be excruciating.

You'd have to really be on the breadline to get with someone you had no feelings for.

But in general, it's really obvious that people in relationships are usually saving money vs living alone.

Indeed, or even any Agatha Christie!!

Unfortunately I know two women who have done this. Ironically they both judge each other for it.

A little different, but I overheard a married friend the other day, saying she would really like to go to X (expensive restaurant). She thought it hilarious to announce that she would get an elderly male friend to take her next time he invited her out for lunch. I find this utterly distasteful.