I really need your advice about ending a friendship with a female friend who has just told me she is..

[noonar]

...pregnant.

We have been friends since childhood, but there is a lot of 'bad history' in the friendship, iykwim. she is a v controlling and domineering person. i have decided after months of agonising that i need to confront my feelings about her, be honest, and end a very damaged friendship.

we dont see each other often, so i have had a couple of months to mull over my feelings.

i have been plucking up the courage to tell her how i feel, but recently heard that she is pregnant.

i just dont know what to do. how can i ring her up and congratualate her as if nothing has changed? but equally, how can i be really honest without causing her stress during her pregnancy?

how can i be fair to her and true to myself at the same time? i care about my friend and dont want to upset her, but staying friends has cause me a lot of heart ache over the years.

urgent advice needed, as she'll be expecting me to get in touch, now that she's broken her news.

tia

My view is that your opinion of her is just that - your opinion. Others may think differently eg her partner etc so it is not kind or beneficial to say what you think. It is far kinder just to leave her to get on with her life. If she ever asks you outright, say simply, 'life is just so much busier now with family' and 'we are very different personalities' and leave her to think about it.

I have friends who are bossy and I would say 'you are in a bossy mood or that told me' or something like that - then we can laugh about it and move on. Leave her to others to handle and spend time with the people you feel comfortable with.

I'd leave it and see what happens after the baby is born. Sometimes people can mull things over after a long time and can change (or not). In your case, I'm a bit puzzled how you say you are friends but she bullied you when you were children. Sounds like you are still a bit in awe of her?

Change your number. Mean but affective. Much better than chatting half heartedly and being non commmittal when she might be looking forward to seeing you.