How much of the time are you happy?

[Cookie105]

Just curious how much of the time are you happy in your relationships?

I would say I’m always happy to be with Dh. I’ve never in 16 years wanted to not be with him. He annoys me sometimes, or I get a bit exasperated that he forgot to take the bin out and we missed the bin men, but I can’t really think of a time I’ve been unhappy to be with him. I’ve certainly gone through tough times in life when I’ve been unhappy with work or extended family drama, so I’m not always ‘happy’ and I’ve experienced a lot of life stress, but nothing to do with Dh. He’s always been supportive.

I've been thinking about this thread a bit more.

Being single works for me because I find being alone peaceful and bliss. Loneliness isn't an emotion I've ever felt. Maybe introvert? I think singledome is a far harder state for those who get lonely.

I said upthread 100% happy. That's because there is 0 negativity. Zero. Nada. There's no one else to get irritated from. Dishes not done or a smelly fart are mine, so you don't get cross/angry/frustrated/any negative emotion.

You of course don't get the highs you might get from sex or whatever, but no lows either so what you do get is a far more consistent feel of contentment.

100%. He's my person.

99% of the time but for some minor reasons I feel like I don’t like him the past couple of weeks.

Almost always, our teens find us cringey as we are always laughing, joking around together. I can’t remember the last time we argued. He can be sulky and me stubborn though so a very minor cross word can leave an at atmosphere for a couple of hours, then one of us relents, calls the other a dick/knob/twunt, we then laugh at our own shortcomings apologise and go back to normal. Together 18 years with 2 teens. We have had rocky patches mostly stress of parenting/house moves etc so it’s taken some work over the years, mostly on our own shortcomings and really seeing the other persons perspective on things to reach this very happy together place.

99.9% of the time.

Me too

Never. I don’t remember the last time I was happy in any way at all.

50% happy
70% content
100% committed because logically this is the best financial and emotional set up for everyone involved.

I love DH more than anything. But:

He's not interested in sex anymore and I'm like a rampant rabbit
He doesn't give me the attention I need/want eg telling me he fancies me/wants me (sexually)/I look beautiful/he is so proud of me. I would like to hear these things maybe once or twice a year. But never do. He says he loves me. He cuddles me. He will have a cheeky grope every now and then.

I often feel very unloved and unwanted.

yet he is my absolute world.

married 23 years

100%. He's amazing, I never get angry or vexed by him, we're on the same wavelength with everything. Last time I was short with him was before Christmas and he did nothing wrong - I just had an awful flu and snapped at him for tidying my library the "wrong" way. Felt absolutely terrible for it immediately and apologised profusely; wasn't him that annoyed me, was the flu. I still remember it vividly and feel bad because that's how rarely we argue. I can't remember any other times before that. He's amazing.

Not a lot.
A nice mixture of my issues and dh issues.

My mum would say she is happy even after more than 50 years married. However, she rarely smiles. I know she has had plenty of issues with my dad over the years (and still now). From my dad having at least one affair to him being emotionally abusive (hence the childhood trauma that still plagues me).

This has made me quite careful when anyone tells me their marriage is all fun and roses.

15 years together, 2.5 years married (childhood sweethearts). No children yet.

I would say we have a lovely marriage and I would never choose differently. We have grown up together and truly understand one another. That doesn’t mean we don’t have disagreements from time to time or irritate one another but I do think being together so long, working through so many obstacles and life experiences, we are a strong couple.

I am 100% happy in the relationship and I know he is too. We constantly work on ourselves and our relationship, and know how to communicate with each other. We do little things to make each other feel loved. He runs me a bath in the evenings, I make him a coffee whilst he gets ready for work. I sometimes feel like having met so young, it meant we had more to deal with at a younger age for example, I went to uni, he didn’t. He worked crazy long night shifts whilst I worked 9-5. We couldn’t afford to live together or get married for a very long time. We couldn’t even drive for the first 3 years we were together 😂 We didn’t attend the same school either! We have supported each other through everything, from GCSEs to masters degrees, through grief and mourning, etc.

That doesn’t mean it’s always easy but I don’t know how you can quantify that?

He does my head in at times, and I know the feeling is reciprocated, so most of the time we're happy and occasionally we're annoyed with each other.

this is very similar to me. I thought that stuff didnt matter until li had a complete and total breakdwon eight years ago from which I have never recovered.

50%

Used to be 100% but he has become miserable as he gets older and it grinds me down.

He no longer wants sex either so for him that means why bother with any intimacy at all. I am 50 so feel frustrated a lot of the time.

Probably 80% of the time, but I wouldn't say I'm a particularly happy person anyway, so the 20% isn't so much to do with him as life in general.

99.9999% of the time. We’re only human and have fleeting moments where we are stressed about outside factors and they may play a role in how we are with each other but we’re both able to communicate well and be able to say sorry and explain why we acted the way we did.

To the outside world, i was blissfully happy and lived a dream life. The reality was very different. I was permanently anxious, unhappy, scared, lonely, frustrated, unloved, hyper-vigilant, eaten up with self doubt and hatred. He was deeply abusive. It took me a long time but I eventually left him.

With the relationship? Always. Sometimes I'm unhappy about other stuff, sometimes I don't have the mental energy to give 100% to my relationship. But I'm always happy with the relationship itself, even when we've fallen out because even then it's still a loving partnership.

Almost all the time. I sometimes get irritated with something he does but then I just have to remind myself that I'm not perfect either. So happy around 99% of the time.

Definitely this! Very happy otherwise, just small irritations that I'd have whoever I shared a home with!

Very happy otherwise in that i can completely be myself & relax with DH, I know i can trust him and that he loves me. Together 28 years, married for 26. And he probably does more housework than me!

I’d say 99% of the time. Sometimes he annoys the hell out of me as I’m sure I do him which I think is normal in a relationship, but overall I love him to bits and couldn’t imagine life without him,

No, he annoys me! Happy rarely.
I prefer my own company.20% happy!

Probably 95% he has cPTSD which is a challenge at times but he is getting help for it.