"Nobody can ever 100% guarantee anything"

[soontime]

A friend has told me that her DP hit a wall in the house, he'd been having a big argument with someone who doesn't live there and as he stormed away he punched a wall. She told him that he mustn't punch anything in the house ever again as she can't deal with it. Apparently his response was to say sorry, and that he will try to never do it again. She picked up on the word "try" and pushed him on it, to which he said he again that will try his best - he's just not going to say it absolutely won't ever happen because nobody can ever 100% guarantee anything. I'm just wondering what other people make of this?

It sounds like he's giving himself an excuse to do it in future tbh. I'd be pressing for 100%, or if not giving the clear indication I'd be leaving if it happened again.

I think he's right and nobody can ever guarantee anything, they can just give their best go. Pointlessly promising things you cant possibly guarantee sounds cheap to me, manipulative even. But that doesn't mean he didn't say it in a way that wasn't just dodging accountability.

Hard to say if shes honed in on that word unecessairly or is sensing generally a lack of contrition/danger/something off from him but has pinned it on the word 'try'.

She's focusing on the wrong thing regardless, his 'guarantee' won't actually prevent him doing it again. Either she believes he will give it his best, or she thinks he's not trustworthy and is likely to punch when cross - the precise words are not the hill to die on.

My ex did this and then didn't sort it out for months until after he'd moved out and I nagged him as our baby was about to be born and that was his bedroom.
He wasn't a good guy - he couldn't handle his emotions and had anger issues

He obviously didn't plan to punch the wall. He lost control and now regrets it. He's right in thinking it can happen again but he doesn't want that so he will try his best.

Thanks all. I think she was worried that saying nobody can guarantee anything was using a statement that is technically true to give him the window that it can happen again.

Shes now found out that he’s punched walls before so I think as a pp said the question is less about his wording and more about whether she believes he won’t do it again.

and if he does do it again whether she’s willing to leave over it

I never set much store by people saying "I 100% wont do X again". It's easy to say without putting any thought into it at all. It doesn't show any more commitment than "I will really try but obviously cannot actually absolutely guarantee anything at all".