Low self esteem

[Cantfindtherightword]

I have realised I am the issue here, there is a female starting at the company my husband works for. I am instantly nervous he is going to have an affair because he can do better than me.
Realistically
he has never given me reason or had to my knowledge an affair or cheated
he only goes to the office one day a month if that so won’t even see her very often

how do I build myself up and believe I am good enough :(

You need to talk to someone before you knobble your marriage with your thoughts.

OP, your DH chose you, so clearly you are good enough. He is going to meet other women during the course of his life, and if you are a loving wife, he’ll have no reason to look elsewhere. You believe the story you tell yourself in your head - so stop with the “I’m not good enough” rubbish, and concentrate on the positive. Your DH doesn’t go into the office very often. He’s never given you cause for concern. Concentrate on the things you and your DH enjoy doing together, and just put this other woman out of your mind.

I feel your pain, OP. Try and remind yourself that looks are subjective: just because you find this woman attractive, it doesn't mean your husband does. Also, switch your thoughts around: you theoretically could be with someone better than your husband, but you chose him just as he chose you. This makes you just as good as anyone else out there. Hopefully your husband realises he has a good thing going and wouldn't wish to do anything to risk that changing.

Therapy. Stat.

Everytime I worry that my partner could leave me for someone else, I turn it around and think.. well I could leave him for someone else too? But I don't because I chose him and I love him. When you spell it out like that, you realise how silly it is. He's not going to simply look at another woman and think, "right, I'll be with her instead". You know that, deep down. I really recommend therapy to get to the root of your self esteem issues