Counselling

[Ghostedornot]

I’m having my first counselling session next week and I’m just wondering what to expect? What happens in your first session and in counselling in general?

Probably need a bit more info. What kind of counselling is it? Joint or on your own counselling?

Own counselling.

On my own counselling I mean.

I think what the other poster meant is it specifically CBT, talking therapy etc.

What's it to address? As there are lots of different methods and styles and then people can help with what to expect.

I signed up for CBT after reading up about it as I'm struggling with health anxiety, and CBT suits me as they very much teach you how to cope through strategies and methods and I get homework to do.

So it's more learning about how your brain works and in a safe safe to enable me to work through issues and so far so good, my lady does listen to me, but she's not there to just listen if that makes sense.

Marriage counselling would be totally different, I would assume. So hopefully others can help as it's nerve wracking but I've had a good experience.

I’m having individual counselling to discuss and work through my feelings related to a potential separation from my husband. Also hoping to discuss feelings of isolation and social anxiety. I’ve never had counselling before, only one relate session a long time ago as my husband refused to go with me.

Some counsellors work in a structured way and some will leave it more open and let you lead. They’re likely to ask what’s brought you to counselling right now. It’s ok if you don’t know, or don’t want to give the full answer. Their main aim will be to get to know you and start building up a rapport.

It's a really mixed bag. If it's nhs you will probably spend 15 minutes of each session going over the same questions and repeating yourself weekly.
Please don't hold back of you think the counsellor is talking crap or gasslighting you, their word isn't gospel and remember, they are working to a set of theories, some of which might help some people, some might not.
Personally, I find ringing the Samaritans is much more effective at clarifying the mind, and you still have £50 in your pocket

Just wondering how you got on as I'm having my first session, for similar reasons to you, this week

The initial session will most probably be the counsellor asking you a little about yourself and then asking what has brought you to them.

I think it is normal to feel anxious OP but honestly do try not to be. You've bravely made the first step so I would say just go with the flow of the session. Be honest and open.

I felt similarly when I had my first counselling session - I had no idea what to expect! I actually felt physically lighter after each session and I found it really helpful for me.

Good luck and I hope you find it helpful.

Is it a counsellor or a psychologist or a psychotherapist or something else?
Do they use person centred therapy, CBT or something else?

They will also talk through a verbal contract with you - e.g confidentiality, GDPR, BACP etc - time and length of sessions , contacting out of sessions etc - they may ask about previous experience of counselling

The counsellor will probably ask a bit about your life and what you’re hoping for from the sessions and what made you decide to come now. What has been going on in your marriage and why you’re considering leaving. How you’re feeling when you talk about it. Obviously there are no right or wrong answers, more an exploration to help you understand yourself better.

I personally never did find counselling helpful. I think it's something that was influenced by American culture and kind of drifted here. I mean each to their own and many people do seem to rate counselling. The thing is they can't really give you any type of answer or advice. They basically echo back at you your thoughts and prompt you to come up with your own solutions. If you pay out of your own pocket , you're basically paying for a very expensive 'safe space ' to vent your feelings for an hour. (They must make a killing !)

But anyway, I'm digressing a little and have put a very negative spin on it. (Sorry it's just my personal experience)

I do hope you find it helpful in some way. Some people seem to.

If it’s NHS you will be asked questions relating to a low mood assessment and an anxiety assessment.

Then it’s person centred therapy for the rest of the session. I found it helpful. I let go of 3 internal critical and negative monologues in my head, in my mother’s voice.

The void was filled with dance music for a while which wasn’t depressing but just annoying 😅 Now my very chatty brain is quieter and my functioning and memory has improved.

Person centred counselling meant that I talked about what was bothering me and the counsellor asked me questions to gain us both greater insight. She validated my experiences.

I’d experienced 4 losses within 5 years, resulting in complex grief. And then a fifth lesser loss tipped me into an anxiety reaction and depression. The counselling helped me to make sense of what had happened to me. It was a very positive experience.

This is the stuff that makes the grass go green in Texas.

I don't understand 😵‍💫

My advice; don't go with the NHS unless you absolutely can't help it.

As people have said, usually counselling starts with a chat about who you are and why you're here.

If you're uncomfortable don't be afraid to try other professionals or even just a mixture of people in your own life. It takes 'a village' to get people through tough times.

Good luck with everything!