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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Ended out of hand FWB situation and I just feel so sad

5 replies

SilverCat657 · 24/01/2025 17:57

It had only been going on for about three months but we exchanged messages every day - first thing, lunch breaks, after work, evening. Obviously far too much for that type of situation, but he seemed to be the instigator and the messages really brightened up my day. Making it into a proper relationship was never on the table for either of us, for a number of reasons, and we would often remind each other of this.

Without going too far into it, things have changed over the last few weeks and I basically fucked it by letting my feelings get in the way of the fun. I ended things this morning and I know it was the right thing (eg. I sent a message a fair bit shorter than this post explaining how I felt and what my reasons were, and he responded by saying "well I'm not reading all of that").

Even though I would never want a relationship with him, I feel so unbelievably sad that I've ruined something that was so fun and that made me happier than I have been in a very long time. I haven't moped around like this since I was a teenager and I feel like I might never be happy again (I know, I'm being totally ridiculous)

I don't really have anyone I can talk to about this in real life either. I just feel so bloody sad. I don't even know why I'm writing this, I just need to get it off my chest I suppose. Argh why am I such an idiot :'(

OP posts:
Quietnowplease · 24/01/2025 18:02

You're not an idiot op. I'm sorry you're sad. I've had something similar happen recently too so I get it.

And you didn't 'fuck it' by saying how you felt. You obviously needed to say it, and he sounds rude with his 'I'm not reading all of that' comment.

Give it time and you'll feel better. Go no contact. Yes it'll feel shit for a while but you'll be ok.

Getting this out of your life means getting some space to let something else good in.

Can you plan some nice stuff for the weekend?

BlondeMamaToBe · 24/01/2025 18:05

You’re not an idiot at all. Men will treat you like they are in a relationship with you and then act like this and it hurts. I have been there before and it was awful so you have my full sympathy.

NattyGuide · 24/01/2025 18:17

@SilverCat657 Sorry to hear of your situation, yeah it’s really hard when you start to get feeling for the person and it’s just a fun non strings attached relationship, your only human please don’t beat yourself up over this, I guess you were falling for him and getting familiar with this guy and obviously got on well, sometimes these set ups can turn into something if the other person feels the same and can make the next meeting awkward, is there anyway you can talk to him and see if you can salvage this fwb or do you feel you’ve overstepped it to the point it won’t be the same for you anymore.
I’ve been in this situation before and we both had feelings for each other but got awkward due to a large age gap but yet felt okay as a sexual relationship but not a romantic relationship, it’s cliche but it will get better in time and the less you see of him the more you can hopefully move on
good luck

SilverCat657 · 24/01/2025 18:35

Thank you all for the kind replies. It feels good to talk about it and feel less alone. I don't think there is any going back unfortunately. He's been a lot less communicative over the last week or so, and the way it made me feel made me realise that it had to end before I got even more hurt. He's shown a more harsh and abrupt side, which I suppose should make it easier to move on. I just wish it could go back to what it was, but I think it's too late.

OP posts:
BlondeMamaToBe · 24/01/2025 18:38

I think it’s for the best that you’ve ended it now before you got even more invested.

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