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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Tired of feeling stuck

1 reply

El0uise · 24/01/2025 17:03

So, I’ve been in a relationship for nearly 30 years, 2 grown up kids, a mortgage and a family business.
We have had some crazy ups and downs over the years. There is an age gap of 10 years and though not huge it’s now very noticeable. I am living with a grumpy old man. I feel stuck. Changing things now would be so hard, we would need to give up the business and get new jobs, I’d need to take on the mortgage myself. It all feels so hard. So, we fight and we make up because it’s easier. I feel suffocated by my life, completely suppressed and unfulfilled. I turned to a male friend that is in a similar situation, that led to more, it was so exciting and refreshing…and wrong I know. Now I’m in love with a man who can’t be with me and living with a man who drains my soul. I can’t tell anyone how I feel. I know I have caused this situation but I’m now a mess. I don’t even know why I’m posting here…I just need to get it out my head.

OP posts:
OneNavyOtter · 24/01/2025 17:45

Regardless of the man you’re in love with, would you be happier on your own than with your long term man? If it’s yes and you know it, then I’d make plans to leave even if it’s difficult. Your children aren’t dependant on you any more I’m guessing? So you can strike out on your own and build a new life. It sounds like it’ll be a tricky road but get a lawyer, do things right and you might just get a better life.
I don’t think you’d want to be looking back in another 10 years, wishing you’d made the break, would you?

Does your man know how you feel?

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