In all honesty, my MIL drives me up the wall, and I think I've decided it's because we are just not really that compatible as people (I've tried for the past 7.5 years). There have been moments in the past where she has said some bad things about me behind my back to my now husband, and tried to break us up, but I'd still go around with a smile on my face and a bunch of flowers for her to be the bigger person. But I don't know whether that has just built resentment. Anyway, nowadays, she acts as though she wants me to be her best friend. Especially now I'm pregnant. But I feel as though she wants to be so involved in our lives it's irking me out a bit. She doesn't have any friends and she doesn't talk to a lot of family (she has burnt a lot of bridges). So we are her main focus. Her daughter doesnt speak to her much, so I think she's expecting me to fill that role. But it feels forced, and so I feel like naturally I am retracting. At Christmas, I thanked her for washing the dishes after I had cooked dinner for everyone. She said "dont worry you can look after me when im older". It makes me feel as though there is an expectation of me which I am not comfortable with. I want her to have a good relationship with my husband, and daughter, but I don't feel like I want to be as close.
I am going on maternity leave soon, and she is also retiring so I feel as though she is going to demand more of my time. How can I keep an okay relationship at an arms length distance? And how can I lower her expectations of me?