Very hesitant to post this as it might seem like a minor thing, it makes me uncomfortable and just want some advice. I spoke with my friend about this and he said that no person is perfect to what I agree with, but I feel I argue with my partner too often. Any advice on below please. I don't know if it's just me being some weirdo not knowing how to act in relationship.
Some context:
- Me 29M / My partner 26F
- Together for almost 2 years
- She is currently under stress as she is applying for jobs because she constantly complains about her job due to micromanagement (I agree with that statement)
- My body is slightly weakened / drowsy due to a medication I have to take
- I put my comments in () parentheses next to a message to explain what I mean.
Our chat history
Yesterday (Thursday):
- Me warning her about windy day on Friday (so we have not argued then)
Today:
Me (starting the conversation):
- Why don't you even wash, I cook for you (It means that I cooked yesterday but I wake up this morning and there's dishes everywhere. We usually switch between cooking/cleaning, but because she has limited time due to job applications so I agreed to cook more. However it feels like I have to do cooking and dishes most of the time now)
Her:
- Ohhh I forgot
- I was so busy with new job applications
- Sorry
Me: (bringing up the issues)
- I will leave that for you when you get back
- You also seem to prioritise going out with your friends than paying for bills and you saying you cant pay your half because of that. I really don't like that (She asked me this month to pay more for our expenses that's why I responded with this)
- Also this:
- I told you like 3 months ago about dangers coming home late, you then mentioned you will not do it again. (Our area is very suspicious and anti social, my girlfriend complained about guys yelling at her at some point for no reason. I agreed to pick her up every now and then but suggested her to take different route, I am unable to pick her up all the time from work. On top of this, I told her I would prefer her hanging out with her friends during day time, e.g. weekends. She said she agrees and will not come back late at night but she still does. It makes me worried for her. I communicated this to her but she still keeps doing it)
- All complete lies
Her:
- I will pay you now
- How much do you want
Me:
- Don't talk to me (I responded that way because she appears to act only when I bring it up as an issue and start arguing, otherwise she thinks its ok to do.)
Her:
- ?
- Tonight we have a celebration work dinner... you know it's not just usual dinner, there will be over 15 people joining
- I have told you I've been stressed these days
Me:
- To add to the list, you also mention that I never see your friends. But suddenly you don't even invite me to tonight's dinner so :shrug:
Her:
- Tonight it's colleague only
- You are putting pressue on me
- I feel so tired
- Don't add pressure on me please
Me:
Her:
- I am working with clients at the moment, with manager forcing me to hit impossible KPI. At the same time you are blaming me...
Me:
- Just so you know how I feel, next time you come back (I said this because we had discussion few days ago that she said I wasn't transparent enough with how I feel.)
Her:
- And I have to text you while I am working with clients now
- To explain what happened
- I'm so stressed
- I really need to see mental health doctor
- You are telling me how you feel, and I'm trying to give the solution ( want to pay you now/ tell you why I didn't invite you)
- But you rejected my solution
- Come on
- What do you want me to do?????
That's all the chat history
We also had another argument like a week ago, when I told her I need to sleep early that day as I have to drive in the morning. She came back like 11-12 midnight, she went to bed and started blasting her social media that woke me up completely :/