Why do women leave their marriages v why do men?

[BakeSaleTomorrow]

Statistically men are happier and live longer when married. Women are happier and live longer when single.

Reading multiple posts on here it seems more common that when a man leaves his wife it is likely that there is another woman lurking in the background.

When a woman leaves her marriage the reasons seems to lean more towards her husbands terrible behaviour/cheating/lazy spouse/abuse/man child etc.

I understand that there are of course exceptions to the rule and men leave their wives due to their wives cheating/wife abuse/or just a couple who have fallen out of love with each other.

What are everyone’s thoughts?

I know of a few women who have turned a blind eye to their husbands infidelity as they don't want to give up their comfortable lifestyle! Think that's really sad IMO...but I'm a firm believer that you can't truly judge unless in that position yourself! Really hard.

The common denominator seems to be badly behaved men.

It seems more common that when a man leaves his wife it is likely that there is another woman lurking in the background.
When a woman leaves her marriage the reasons seems to lean more towards her husbands terrible behaviour/cheating/lazy spouse/abuse/man child etc.

I think you nailed it with this tbh. Obviously, there are exceptions but this is most common.
For men, it's usually about sex. For women, it's usually about being treated poorly.

I've never known a man who hasn't left his wife because there isnt another woman somewhere in the picture. I stated this to my family recently and they all agreed. Even if we knew of a man having an affair- it was the wife who eventually instigated the split either due to actual affair or his behaviour change.

Women leave for a whole spectrum of reasons, meeting someone else, fallen out of love, DV, realises shes a lesbian, I've known all of them!

There is one case in my social circle where the dh has gone off abroad to ‘find himself’. There doesn’t seem to be anyone else specific involved although no doubt it is still all about shagging.

In my extended friendship group, three men walked away as their partners were having an affair (all of the women ended up married to the affair partner and went on to remarry), one was a mutual break up as both partners were unhappy. Weirdly I don’t know any that have broken up due to the husband having an affair! This is obviously a very specific cohort though. In my parents generation, of their friends two men left due to affairs, no women left due to affairs, and the rest just grew apart with age.

In my experience (been married twice, in long term relationships 3 times) men leave when there’s someone else paying them attention and they think they’ve got a better offer elsewhere. Many men (not all before someone jumps) view a woman like a household appliance- when it breaks down / doesn’t work as well / gets boring they’ll try to find what they perceive is a better deal. Seen it so many times.

Generally women leave men because of men’s shit behaviour and men leave women because of men’s shit behaviour and have someone else lined up.

just an observation I’ve made in my 40 odd year on this earth!

I pretty much never believe it when men are shocked their wife wants a divorce. I assume she has asked him to step up 70 million times with the housework, children and mental load, and he never bothered. (To be precise, after the first 1000 conversations he cooked on a Sunday, took his dc to tennis practice, and congratulated himself on the 50/50 split)

My parents divorced because my mum had an affair.

From what I’ve heard though my mum and dad had a very dysfunctional relationship, it doesn’t sound like he treated her particularly well or saw her as an equal.

Family suspect my mum only married my dad so she could ‘escape’ from the home as she hated her own dad.

She grew up watching her own parents have a very bad marriage with her dad consistently cheating on her mum.

So a very multi-layered generational mess really.

i think that a lot of women leave simply because they dont want to put up with the shit no more they are given
men leave as they think there is something better on offer they always get led by their cocks

Men like been looked after & don’t do well on their own. Women are sick to death of been the carer (children, husbands/partners, elderly parents) and no one looking out for them. Woman are happier single as they do not have to put up with men’s shit behaviour.

men leave marriages as they believe a woman 20 years their junior will make them happier, rather than put effort into their marriage.

Women: escape abuse
Men: new sex life

Basically

Yep. My friend walked away as his wife hadn’t slept with him in years. They were early 30s. In his case no woman was lined up but other circumstances were the catalyst.

I'd agree with that.

When I left my ex, he was adamant I must have a lover lurking somewhere in the background. He searched furiously for years trying to catch me out. The truth was I didn't even look at another man for 7 years after I left him. I was just relieved to be on my own.

He was judging me by his own shabby standards.

'Women marry men because they think they will change. They never do. Men marry women because they think they will never change. They always do.'

Yes and yes. We hop it when we don't feel loved anymore, the guys hop off to the next

Looking at the couples we know who have broken up, two things stand out.

Only one of the women decided to leave.

In only one case did the man not have an OW already lined up (and he's still single so far as I know).

Sample base is tiny, I admit (11 couples), but make what you will of it.

Women leave when they don’t feel valued, heard, loved or supported anymore. Men leave when they follow their spare leg.

Absolutely agree. In my many years experience of life, I’ve never known a man walk away from his marriage or LTR unless there’s another woman on the scene.

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I can only speak from my own experience but my ex had another woman that he thought he had a shot at, hence why he left. Imo it's always sex above everything with men. Sex above family, sex above morals, sex above integrity.

DP split with his wife as they fell out of love.

Lived as brother and sister for 3 years for the sake of their child.

He has continued to do the majority childcare since the split, having his child 75% of the time.

As we were friends before we got together, I know he's telling me the truth. I saw how much of the household/childcare load he had whilst he was married. One of his most attractive qualities.

Me? I kicked XH out after discovering him cheating for a third time.

I'm not sure that's wholly true. I know DP left because he was unhappy, and plenty have been cheated on. Some left after the wife made an emotional appeal, "I'm not sure I love you anymore." They just got up and left, never to be seen again. I think the housemaid is a trope, especially for the younger couples.
I'd say half of the couples in our group of friends regret the divorce.