Is it ever really MH problems when they switch up?

[Confused90swoman]

I've been seeing a man for the past 6 months and we were really into one another, or so I thought.

A month or so in he told me he suffers from some mental health problems (depression and anxiety) but he said a friend of his thinks it might be a bit 'more' than just that. The friend suspects he could be undiagnosed bipolar. Friend isn't a doctor so it's pure speculation.

Anyway, we were supposed to get together on Monday just gone (we spend the day together every Mon and Thurs) but he cancelled on me on Sunday citing feeling a bit low, he said he needed to get back into the gym as its therapy for him and a tool he uses for his MH.

I was understanding. He was still texting lots, initiated by him.

Then today comes around, he's texting me first thing in the morning wishing me luck for an MRI I have today. He said he's feeling extremely low and feels like just laying in a dark room and sleeping the day away. I offered to meet for coffee he said no so I encouraged him to get up, get some food and get to the gym. He did.

I asked if he feels like this often and he said a few times a year he gets like it.

However, he completely avoided me after the gym on the school run that we both do too. He didn't want to walk with me because it was raining (it long stopped by the time he leaves) and then he was nowhere to be seen at the gates where he usually waits for me.

Do you think this really could be mental health problems or would you think he just doesn't want to know anymore? How would you even find out without sounding like a dick?

I had ex fabricate a mental health crisis to cover up infidelity so regrettably there is a part of me wondering whether this is an excuse to slow fade and bin me off. Too sceptical?

Your thoughts?

6 months into a new relationship should be still about having fun. He sounds like hard work OP!

It was great until last week when he just switched up out of nowhere 😔

Has he sought medical health for his medical condition?

It’s hard to say.

I had an ex like this and when it was good it was amazing but when he slipped into low periods they could last months and I would be pushed away.

He had antidepressants perscribed 4 years ago but refuses to take them now because of the side effects, so he isn't helping himself really.

He thinks going to the gym is sufficient and it clearly isn't.

I'm sorry to hear that, it must have been really hard to deal with in a long term relationship. Did your ex have a diagnosis?

He’s totally brushing you off OP, sorry.

That's what my gut is telling me 😔

Why can't they just say they're not feeling it anymore. It's less hurtful. Ugh.

Sounds like utter bullshit to me. Has he got someone else as it sounds like he's trying not to be seen with you

He wouldn’t say to be honest and when I encouraged him to go to the doctors he wouldn’t.

I think it’s good that he’s told you but I would be wary of continuing seeing him if he is going to shut you out.

The thought did cross my mind. In my experience men only end things with somebody if they've got somebody else lined up.

I have ADHD and get rejection sensitive dysphoria so I'm really upset to be honest 😔

Yeah my one is a bit evasive aswell. He had a telephone appointment with his GP last week (I was with him) but he only did so because he wanted a sick note for work. He told the GP he wanted to go back onto his tablets so she perscribed them, he picked up the meds then refused point blank to take them.

I'm definitely going to be wary going forward, I think this is probably the end now anyway as he's avoiding me like the plague.

He's texting now asking about my MRI, this is why I'm so baffled because he clearly wants to be in contact, just over the phone, it's odd.

Periods of up and coping with periods of extreme low do sound normal for someone who has told you upfront they may have bipolar or similar. There’s no reason to assume he isn’t interested in you suddenly. If he’s telling you it’s the pre existing MH problem he made you aware of in advance, believe him.

You can decide for yourself if this is the partner you want or not.

My advice would be to not take it personally, and to step right back and let him get on with it. Try not to over-think it.

My dating days are long gone,I have anxiety/depression diagnosed.
Six months in you wouldn't have been told of any baggage till I knew I could trust and secondly depending what you had going on.
I think he's at it
Wonder if he's old again?

In a way, it doesn't matter. Even assuming he is being truthful (I doubt it) do you want to subjected to this every time his mental health drops off?

but it sounds like a handy excuse he lines up when he's first dating people. So he can also dabble with others and come back if he feels like it later.