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Original poster

Should I give her the money or not?

51 replies

Blueberry010 · 22/01/2025 15:10

So about 10 years ago my Aunt gave me a solid wood sideboard. I offered to buy it from her at the time but she didn't want anything and just wanted it gone. I was very grateful but now I no longer use or have need for it and so I have asked if she would like it back. She doesn't.

Its still a really good piece of furniture and so I put it up for sale for a small price £45. Somehow she found out and is now saying if I sell it, she wants the money. I'm confused by this as I've offered it back, so she could have it and sell it but she doesn't want it at hers or to sell it herself. So what she really wants is for me to keep storing it, try to find a buyer and then after the inconvenience of that hand the money over to her. Something about this has annoyed me. Am I wrong to feel annoyed and should I give her the money if I do sell it.

OP posts:
ELP1983 · 27/01/2025 21:53

I think it's cheeky of you to make money from something someone gave you as a nice gesture. Either split the money or give it away for free.

sometimesmovingforwards · 27/01/2025 22:02

It didn’t cost you anything, so I’d just give her the £45 to keep the peace.

Bonbon21 · 27/01/2025 22:04

I would sell it.
Go to the bank and change the £45 into pound coins.
Visit.. preferably when she has neighbours in for tea... tell her you sold the sideboard she gave you 10 years ago, and here is the money you got for it as she asked... then I would drop the money slowly into her greedy grasping hands... counting out each coin one by one.

cmsinvestigation · 27/01/2025 22:09

I would leave it on her front lawn.

Mumsworkneverdone · 27/01/2025 22:17

I would drop it outside her front door with a note you weren't able to sell it. Make it her problem now and wash ur hands of it. She won't want to deal with it herself. CF!

YoureLucky · 27/01/2025 22:18

I'd just tell her the listing didn't sell and you don't want to store it so you're going to return it to her to sell, as if you aren't going to get the nominal amount for the hassle of storing and selling you can do without the headache.

Gagagardener · 27/01/2025 22:21

Pieces of furniture can feel personal. is your aunt. The sister of one of your parents. Yes, she gave it to you; that is kindness within a family. She is now 10 years older, as are you. Sell.it and offer to share the money; you wouldn't have it to sell if she hadn't given it to you. Keep kindness in your family..

Notosmartphone · 27/01/2025 22:38

Sorry but going against the grain - OP is the CF here.

You were given something for free. If you don't want it you should give it away not sell it.

Hdjdb42 · 27/01/2025 22:50

I'd give her £20 and keep £25.

SandieWooz · 28/01/2025 07:35

She’s not entitled to any money cheeky mare.

Thebigdigs · 28/01/2025 07:45

How close are you to your Aunt - how much do you value the relationship? This would annoy me - a lot. Selling stuff online is a massive pain in the butt - you couldn't pay me £45 to do it. I'd give her the money, drop it through her letter box with a very short clipped note - Cash, as requested for the sale of the sideboard. Many thanks B. And I wouldn't mention it again. And I'd hope I could put it behind me but I know I wouldn't forget.

Catlord · 28/01/2025 07:47

How petty. Don't make a big thing for the sake of £45. A lot of people will say 'tell her this or that untruth or smart remark' who wouldn't do that really.

I'd speak to her again and offer her the option of having it back to do with what she likes, or you keeping the £45. You're not storing it, advertising, handling enquiries etc for free. Follow up by text so you can prove it to anyone who asks (sure nobody will be that invested in someone else's sideboard but just to put a stop to it if she claims you're stealing her furniture from under her'.

That or give it to charity and be done with.

Flipslop · 28/01/2025 07:52

ELP1983 · 27/01/2025 21:53

I think it's cheeky of you to make money from something someone gave you as a nice gesture. Either split the money or give it away for free.

Yes this is my thought! It was gifted to you to use not to profit from so I can kinda see why she’s a bit miffed. I’d unlist the sale and ask say you had no enquiries so donating it to charity now then everyone is happy.
for the sake of £45 I don’t know why you’d choose this battle

Flipslop · 28/01/2025 07:54

Bonbon21 · 27/01/2025 22:04

I would sell it.
Go to the bank and change the £45 into pound coins.
Visit.. preferably when she has neighbours in for tea... tell her you sold the sideboard she gave you 10 years ago, and here is the money you got for it as she asked... then I would drop the money slowly into her greedy grasping hands... counting out each coin one by one.

Then you’ve got far too much time on your hands 😂

MerlotMisery · 28/01/2025 08:03

Bonbon21 · 27/01/2025 22:04

I would sell it.
Go to the bank and change the £45 into pound coins.
Visit.. preferably when she has neighbours in for tea... tell her you sold the sideboard she gave you 10 years ago, and here is the money you got for it as she asked... then I would drop the money slowly into her greedy grasping hands... counting out each coin one by one.

You sound nice

Goldbar · 28/01/2025 09:47

I'd drop it back round at hers.

Thebigdigs · 28/01/2025 11:05

I think she won't believe that you withdrew it from sale and gave it to charity - even if she does, she'll feel this is a vindictive action - she's going to feel that £45 was hers and you are depriving her of it - I suspect she thought it wasn't worth anything previously.
Giving it back to her - that's going to be quite an annoying thing to arrange for the OP, it sounds big and heavy to transport and she's already said she doesn't want it and again it's going to feel like a dick move.
You've already done a lot of the work putting it on Facebook - it might not even sell if it's hard to move around - and if it doesn't sell you may have to give her the option of picking it up or asking her if she wants to arrange a charity to come around and pick it up.
What a horrible end to what should have been a nice gesture - both of you will leave this feeling a little hurt and raw - I hope for both your sakes it's not permanent.

kiwiane · 28/01/2025 11:35

There’s definitely something odd going on - why would she resent you keeping £45? I would lie and say that you gave it away as no one wanted the cost of transporting it.

FormidableMizzP · 28/01/2025 23:36

Elderly women have totally unrealistic ideas and expectations. I wouldn't worry about it. How did she even know you tried to sell it? You offered to pay for it originally and then offered it back, which was the right thing to do. She refused without expressing any wishes about it's future. You owe her nothing at all. You are totally justified in selling it with no guilt. IF you manage to get anything for it, give her a token amount explaining that was what it achieved or, that you gave it to xyz charity.

DeepFatFried · 29/01/2025 00:20

She’s being ridiculous, but in the end, you paid no money for the sideboard, you have had the benefit of it for 10 years, and selling it saves you taking it to the charity shop or whatever in a van.

Just give her the ££ if she wants it. You won’t be out of pocket.

outerspacepotato · 29/01/2025 00:31

Drop it off back at her place.

Youngheartsalittletogetherness · 29/01/2025 00:58

Bonfire 🔥 problem solved

Bonbon21 · 29/01/2025 10:34

Flipslop and MerlotMisery

I believe if you gift/ give something away you no longer get a say in what happens to,it... it is no longer your property... it is not under your control what happens to it.

The sideboard was given to the OP , belongs to the OP , and therefore is to be disposed of as she sees fit.

Ireallywantadoughnut36 · 30/01/2025 09:49

I think you're both wrong here, I'd have said "I don't want it anymore so I'm going to sell it and I'll give you the money or give it away, are you OK with that?"
I think the polite thing would be for her to say "don't be daft keep the money". That's the dance I'd have expected with this, not for you to sell it and want to keep the money and her to ask for the money. £45 isn't a lot in the scheme of things, if the relationship with your aunt matters, just give it to her. If £45 means more to you, keep it. Yes, she's very rude for asking and she should either have told you to keep the money or agree to have it back and sell it herself. It's just not worth falling out over though.... I'll happily sell my families stuff for free as they're rubbish at the Internet, I don't charge for my time because they're family. She didn't charge you for the sideboard, it was a gift you've used for ten years, just be kind and gift her the time you're spending selling it for her.

heartsofmine · 30/01/2025 11:39

Blueberry010 · 22/01/2025 15:10

So about 10 years ago my Aunt gave me a solid wood sideboard. I offered to buy it from her at the time but she didn't want anything and just wanted it gone. I was very grateful but now I no longer use or have need for it and so I have asked if she would like it back. She doesn't.

Its still a really good piece of furniture and so I put it up for sale for a small price £45. Somehow she found out and is now saying if I sell it, she wants the money. I'm confused by this as I've offered it back, so she could have it and sell it but she doesn't want it at hers or to sell it herself. So what she really wants is for me to keep storing it, try to find a buyer and then after the inconvenience of that hand the money over to her. Something about this has annoyed me. Am I wrong to feel annoyed and should I give her the money if I do sell it.

How did she find out?
Don't tell people your business