I have been in one of those relationships that I presume is like putting a toad in water and slowly heating it up.
I've been through too much in 4 years. The level of lies and manipulation I was in without realising. I had a small feeling but it became a big feeling overtime. Plus the lies became so obvious and distressing.
I've had a cheating boyfriend. But I've never had a mentally abusive boyfriend. He was older and put on a show at first.
Then he was diagnosed with a personality disorder. Around 2 years in he had full control. His silent treatments made me fall apart. I was anxious. Only could focus on my phone and him. He'd make me think something was wrong. He had no family but there was one family member. I thought I was doing right communicating my concerns over to her. Little did I know it would be twisted into lies about me. Me being crazy. Me being paranoid. I stalk his family and friends. Who would say that? He was borrowing My money and not paying me. But telling this cousin I had stolen money from HIM. He threw me out at 4am one morning for asking why he was messaging emotional texts to his ex. When I cried and begged him to not make me walk an hour in the dark and begged him to talk to me. He told people I chased him around the house saying go on. Hit me. Hit me. When I had cash in my house he stole it. I had a thousand pound in cash in a safe pot to use gradually. Eventually there was £400. Then £180. Then £80. When I asked. Ofcourse he said I had misplaced it. He told his boss and work friends I was obsessed with sex. He showed my naked photos to them. He also made up to this boss that whilst away for a weekend he had told her a women she was gorgeous and could go for a drink with him. He claims I proceeded to scream at this woman and threaten her. This was a lie. There was a woman with a tan and he said to me look at the state of her. She was an attractive woman and I said to him, there's nothing wrong with her at all your looking at her because she's caught your eye. It was a conversation between us.
I can continue. He used to make comments on my hair and clothes in the first year. Wanted me to have and wear things like precious women. He never directly said it but he was very specific with brands and colors and at one point in the middle of winter expressed disappointment that I wore the same style all the time.
He has manipulated me time and time again to get money for groceries and other things because he was spending it on substances and it took me 3 years to find out he was taking drugs.
He has never ever celebrated my birthdays. He's never ever bought me flowers or presents or cards on any occasions like birthdays. Imagine that. A relationship where your not thought of enough to even get a £7 bunch of flowers for your birthday.
I could go on all day about stuff that's happened. Times he's gone missing and I've gone out looking for him. Rang for paramedics when he's been poorly. Rang for advice when he's missing.
I wrote on here how he wouldn't defend me recently when I was getting quite unpleasant messages from a female cousin of his. He refused to entertain me. This was the final straw and I was barely hanging on anyway. So 3 days ago I told him we had no connection and it was all just drama and I didn't want it anymore. He messaged 2 or 3 times telling me how great his new puppy is and how he was starving and had no money for food.
Its been 3 days and I've not contacted him and he's not contacted me. I'm so proud of me. It feels strange as I half expect him to reappear at some stage. Blocking cant happen as I have some of his things he may not want back. But I also don't want him coming to my house if I can reply and put boundaries in place I'd rather do that. I will block in the future.