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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I feel like I want to leave

4 replies

CG4321 · 21/01/2025 09:59

I've been with my partner for 7 years and we've been married for a year and a half. We have had our ups and downs like anyone but wee things kept niggling at me. Like if I wanted to go out with friends he would noticeably change and I used to dread having to tell him because he would get so annoyed and I felt rotten for going out. Anyway that's just one of the wee things I picked up on and also recently lots of people have commented on how they've seen my "sparkle" dim recently and I'm not the same person I was which I do agree with. I'm so emotional right now because one half of my brain is saying leave him and be free, live your life and the other half is saying no you love him and I really don't want to hurt him or break his heart and I feel so emotional when I think about it. I just feel like I love him but I'm not in love with him anymore and that breaks me. I dont know what to do. We've built a home and everything together and I just don't know how or if I should end it.

OP posts:
ItsFreedomBabyYeah · 21/01/2025 14:46

As difficult & hard as it will be, I think leaving is the right choice.

usernamesaretoohardtothinkof · 21/01/2025 14:51

That’s not a small thing, actually. It’s ok to leave.

category12 · 21/01/2025 15:04

He sounds controlling/smothering if he limits your social life.

Doing it through emotional blackmail and manipulation is no different really from less subtle methods.

Bananalanacake · 21/01/2025 18:08

How would he react if you told him you were going to a gymn class on Mondays, a book club on Wednesdays and a pub quiz with your female friends every Friday, doing these every week, not as a one off. A husband who loved you would say 'great, you enjoy yourself '
Only a nasty controlling bastard would make you feel shit about it.

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