DH NEVER touches me or shows affection!

[IJustdontknowwhattodoanymore5]

Hello ladies,

I’m after a little bit of advice please.

I’ve been with my DP for nearly five years. We love each other dearly and moved in together 3 years ago. We are in our mid 30’s and she was my first serious relationship.

When we first started dating, she knew I occasionally watched porn ( predominantly lesbian ) and she politely asked me to refrain from watching it as it made her feel uncomfortable as well as making her feel that she wasn’t enough for me. I agreed and bar a couple of occasions when she’s been away with work for close to a week, I haven’t watched it.

our sex life is good, so I genuinely don’t feel the need to watch it.

However, whilst I was on her phone last week ( with her consent ) booking a dinner reservation ( mine had run out of battery and was charging ) I noticed on her open tabs some porn: I checked on her history and it was a frequently visited site, on a multi weekly basis.

She WFH whilst I go into the office for work so I suspect that’s when she’s looking at it.

I feel upset that a) she is doing what she’s told me not to do and b) I am also wondering if I am
enough for her.

I want to confront / talk to her about it but I don’t know where to start. I’m not anti porn particularly but I feel she’s been very hypocritical

Thankyou for reading.

Tbh I wouldn’t worry too much. Maybe she’s just exploring her sexuality a bit? I would go with look I saw you watching it but is there anything you want to try? I can guarantee it’ll be stuff where the women look like they are having the time of their lives. You say you have sex regularly but are you really counting and taking time to pleasure her etc before intercourse? It’s so so important! A happy medium and highly recommended is the website omgyes - it’s the antithesis to porn and is really educational. Perfect for couples wishing to recharge sex as intimacy it has been a game changer for me and my husband.

What sort of a response is that, NeedyScroller... oh I know you made me feel awful/shamed about watching porn but it's fine for you to - in fact, what you watching? Can I re-enact it for you?

OP is concerned she's not enough and your answer is to basically say 'yeah, you might not be, up your game!'

OP, I think the only thing you can do is talk to her, explain how you feel (especially around the double standards!) and agree that you can either both watch it - separately or together - or neither! It would be the fact she told me not to rather than the fact she is that would bother me the most, OP.

Please don't think it's about you.. you'd still watch occasionally if she'd not said anything and I presume she's enough for you!