Did your kids contact with your abusive ex/their father dwindle as they got older??

[Crackers0987]

DD has a fair amount of contact with her Dad. She finds more than one night difficult and struggles. She often cries and asks him to bring her back but naturally he refuses. She doesn't sleep well there either. He lives a 45 minute drive away in rush hour school traffic. She does one midweek overnight and finds that tough as she goes to school with a backpack with her favourite teddy in and uniform for the next day (he provides nothing)
DD is 7 and too young for anyone to listen to. Her dad has no family, doesn't know anyone with kids, she can't have any of her friends over at his, he takes no interest in her activities and she's missed parties and activities on his weekend because he simply won't take her.
A lot of people keep telling me she'll vote with her feet when she's older. I don't wish for her to have absolutely no relationship whatsoever with him but I think it should be on DDs terms as she gets older.
Just wondering what others experiences were.

Particularly if you have a Court order. Did you go back to Court to get the order varied?

Bump

Mine have barely any contact with their dad. He started dropping visits when they were in junior school and now hasn't seen my son in a year, DD maybe twice a year.

They will work it out op.

Have you posted this quite a lot? I’ve read this a few times now

Abusive men tend to be toss bags when it comes to their kids. I’ve heard the same issues from several friends. I imagine quite a few women are in the same situation and post on here.

My Dd worked it out and had less and less contact, my son (younger) kept contact although has reduced it bc of other factors.

Aw poor kid. What a selfish dick your ex is.

Yes, she'll be able to vote with her feet as she gets older and more independent. Mine wouldn't go when they had other things they wanted to do as teens.

It's up to him to nurture his relationship with her, sounds like he's doing a crap job of it.