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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Huge argument

27 replies

Maisie2409 · 20/01/2025 00:06

Hi everyone,

Sat here on this Sunday night in floods of tears after a huge row that resulted in my husband grabbing my arms and pushing me. Nothing like this has ever happened before and I feel horrendous / don’t know how to approach this in the morning. It started as a small argument which then escalated - this was largely my fault as I kept asking for an apology and he kept shouting at me to ‘drop it’. He then snapped, grabbed me and pushed me. How do I approach this? I wish I could turn back time and just have dropped the matter :(

OP posts:
selffellatingouroborosofhate · 20/01/2025 01:55

Maisie2409 · 20/01/2025 01:28

Thank you. This coldness has happened time and time again though - not just from baby related tiredness. He can be so lovely but then also so emotionally cold and detached, it’s hard to compute the two

If he was nasty 100% of the time, you'd have already left. Look up "breadcrumbing".

UnpropitiousNightmares · 20/01/2025 01:58

OP, it might be a good idea if you read up on what Family and Domestic Violence (FDV) looks like.

Pushing, slapping, punching, choking and kicking someone are all forms of Physical and Violating Abuse.

It matters not how few times it's been done, abusive behaviour is abuse behaviour. It's so important to have a firm stance on this because abusive behaviour ALWAYS escalates.

Get out now before he escalates to the next stage.

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