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Baffled by sudden ghosting part 2

17 replies

Forfucksake84 · 19/01/2025 18:09

so i have been chatting to a guy for about 5 months. We had only had 2 dates so far. we only just got round to meeting again last night for tge third time due to work commitments and illness on his side. I know I shouldn't have given him anymore chances after he'd let me down a few times with dates but tbh I'd built up a bit of a rapport over 5 months of chatting and was nice to have someone to talk to. So he came round and we shared 2 bottles of wine and then slept together. We them chatted a bit more and he fell asleep on the sofa. I tried to wake him up to tell him I was going to bed if he wanted to come. He didn't wake up (don't know if he was pretending) so I went to bed and 20 mins later I heard him leaving. This was after at least a bottle of wine so i don't know how he drove home.I texted him this morning asking what time he left and he's not replied. I'm not sure I'd even want to see him again, but I'm upset that he's shagged me and can't even be bothered to send a courtesy message. Also leaves me wondering whether it's something I did or if I'm crap in bed, because he was texting me constantly before...🤨

OP posts:
tigglywink · 19/01/2025 18:11

Why baffled? He got what he wanted.

nodramaplz · 19/01/2025 18:32

Glad I'm not on the market.

LittlePudding1 · 19/01/2025 18:40

It's not something you did!

He's just a dickhead

Hope he was decent in bed so at least you got something out of it

TwistedWonder · 19/01/2025 18:42

So from your previous thread -

You met the bloke twice in 3 months

He turned up two hours late to the date.

He got his dick out while you were kissing.

He sent you a dick pic saying you should have ‘copped a feel’

He then ghosted you

He eventually messaged after a few days with a made up accident story.

After a month or so he came round for sex and has now ghosted again

Did you not take a single word of advice about raising your bar onboard OP?

Stevie Wonder could have seen this coming ffs

Circumferences · 19/01/2025 18:42

Where's part 1

Forfucksake84 · 19/01/2025 18:45

I just don't know why they put so much effort into constant daily chatting just for one shag and then to ghost...it seems completely pointless

OP posts:
Forfucksake84 · 19/01/2025 18:46

LittlePudding1 · 19/01/2025 18:40

It's not something you did!

He's just a dickhead

Hope he was decent in bed so at least you got something out of it

Not particularly. I found it quite underwhelming actually

OP posts:
tigglywink · 19/01/2025 18:51

You need to raise your standards

Teanbiscuits33 · 19/01/2025 19:39

Has he read your message? He might have had an accident if he’s drove home after a bottle of wine! If not, no doubt that will be the perfect excuse for ghosting you when he comes back wanting round two in a few weeks 🤣. He’s a twat and honestly, it’s nothing you’ve done. I would advise you to stop ignoring red flags though, as by the sounds of it the signs were already there the first time around.

TwistedWonder · 19/01/2025 19:41

Circumferences · 19/01/2025 18:42

Where's part 1

www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/5216563-baffled-by-sudden-ghosting?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=share

Anonym00se · 19/01/2025 19:42

I'm not sure I'd even want to see him again

I’m not a fan of clichéd MN replies like “Raise your bar”, but fucking hell OP, raise your bar!

Shubbypubby · 19/01/2025 19:52

Three dates in five months is ridiculous and the "bond" you build up over frequent messaging can be very deceiving. Some blokes spend time messaging loads of women.

Learn from this and raise your standards OP.

NoBadVibes01 · 19/01/2025 19:53

That’s really rude of him to just sneak out and ignore your messages.

PeggyMitchellsCameo · 19/01/2025 20:05

OP it wasn’t a date. He has basically popped round, had sex and bogged off.
He has no investment in you and after thread 1 he has behaved even worse.
Please take some time out from dating and work on yourself because it’s clear idiots like these spot you are but vulnerable. This man had no care for you at all.
You were a bit of a diversion for him and he’d come back to get what he wanted.
I think it’s absolutely disgusting.
But stop giving men like this access to your time, your headspace and now your home and your body.
You need to value yourself more, in your posts you sound very unsure of what is happening.
You deserve better. Take some time off and next time insist on meeting someone early doors. Insist on a proper date and then take your time.

ChillyWhiskers · 19/01/2025 20:09

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

DaringTurtle · 19/01/2025 20:18

It doesn’t take a lot of effort to text. I’d say maybe raise your expectations. A few texts wouldn’t be enough to convince me to sleep with a man I’ve met twice.

fraughtcouture · 19/01/2025 23:21

Why another thread? You completely ignored all the good advice on the first one....

He used you for sex, as predicted. That's it.

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