Bf who has a child and idk what to do

[kbunnie]

I have a bf who I dated when I was 15 and we was on and off for years and now I’m 25 and he’s 27 but we was on and off cause of long distance and he couldn’t see me as he was sofa surfing a lot but apparently I was the only woman who he fell in love with said I was the one who “got away” whatever that means. I’m in a situation he said he searched for me for 4 years and we got together and it has been great but I found out he had a child before meeting which was okay but his ex gf was crazy like threaten to kill me over the phone, stalked me on social media, none stop called me baiting in mind they hated each other and she cheated on him but anyway my bf gets depressed over his son because he chose to have a life with me here and his ex gf was threatening for him to never see his son if he ever came to see me and sometimes I feel like it’s out of my hands and I don’t know what to do anymore I love him a lot but like today he’s been so cold and distant also would smoke a lot of weed and stopped it and then started again and I’m like do I just let him go to his old life or do I just deal with this stuff I just don’t know anymore what to do plus I don’t have children so I don’t understand what it’s like but we both had bad childhoods and he’s had a bad life plus his son is none verbal and autistic which I’m okay with and I think his son is adorable and if I could give him a home I would but this ex gf of his makes his life a living hell had to change his mobile number and everything I could just really use some insight please :)

Just don’t get involved with any of this.
You have one life. Don’t waste it.

Sounds like your boyfriend isn’t telling you the whole story, you're only 25 you don’t need these problems regardless of the childhood he’s had

If you were my daughter I would tell you to run

My dad did tell me to run 😩

What is in any way appealing about a sofa-surfing, weed-smoking fuck up with a child with significant additional needs and a not very amiable co-parenting situation with a volatile ex?

He doesn't sound like a good life prospect. Do you want to spend your life skint and with misery and arguing?

Call it a day, move on and have a nice life.

You cannot be throwing yourself on the fire to keep everyone warm.

There's never any need to date a drug taking homeless man.

Listen to your dad. There are millions of men out there who are better than this car crash.

Gosh this is a lot of drama you really don’t need. It’s his problem to sort out. Or not. Create a boundary. You can’t fix people and can’t fix every situation. That just create a codependent dynamic. If he’s cold or distant leave him to it and try not to tie your mood to his. Please please think very carefully about ever getting pregnant if this situation doesn’t improve. It’s hard enough raising a wee one in a healthy environment. Maybe too see your GP to get some counselling to help you heal from your own past. You’re too young to have this level of drama.

This too!

Who cares what he wants, you got away once stay away!

You know there are other men without all that crap, right?

You deserve better.
Run

No one 'falls in love' faster than a man with nowhere to live. Decline any push back you'll receive when (hopefully) you dump him.

Dont seek out a hellish life full of drama and drugs.

Why would you want such a crap life for yourself? Get rid and find some peace.

Listen to your Dad.
He loves you and wants you to be happy
This guy won't do that
You'll meet someone who deserves you.

Let this turd float past.

What did you learn about relationships when you were growing up?. I think you meeting him at 15 did you an awful lot of harm actually.

Listen to your dad here and value yourself a lot more than you currently do. Is he all you think you deserve?. Do not set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm. You are also not a rehab centre for some badly raised man either.

All this from this bf about you being the one who got away is a lot of manipulative hoovering crap; do not fall for it.

Your headline is misleading as let’s be honest, him having a child is the absolute least of your problems.

Walk away from this Jeremy Kyle car crash drama and repeat this to yourself every day of your life

Women, you are not rehabilitation centers for badly raised men. It is not your job to fix him, change him, parent him or raise him. You want a partner, not a project

No thank you, next!!!!!

Listen to your dad. You are lucky you have a dad who recognise this what this man is like. All too often women who fall for men like this have fathers who are either spectacularly absent or who are a nightmare themselves.

You don't want to live with this sort of thing. Set yourself free.

As soon as I read that he was sofa surfing for a long time I knew it wasn't going to end well.

As soon as I read about the baby I knew it wouldn't end well.

As soon as I read about the crazy ex I knew this is a man that you need to get away from ASAP.

So many red flags.

Now that's a line to remember !

Your dad wants you to be with someone who loves you, will take care of you, and help you build the life you want for yourself.

This man isn't able to do any of those things. His problems aren't yours to deal with, don't take them on. He gets to make his choices the same as you do, if he makes poor ones it is his issue to solve, not yours.

Listen to your dad. He can see this isn't a good idea and he sounds right. You deserve better than this mess.