So my eldest is 17 and youngest 3.5. Eldest is from previous relationship, his dad has never had anything to do with him. Current partner & eldest had a good relationship until he turned a teenager and our son came along. when my youngest was born my eldest who wouldn't accept him was a typical teenager at the time, attitude, knew better and one day in a fall out said "I'll go hit him" (meaning his baby brother) now I know how awful that sounds but he would never have actually done it he was just trying to be hurtful and nasty like teenagers can be. My partner has never forgotten that and shouts about how me and my family did nothing and did nothing to rectify the issue when I went into school and got pastoral help, l even got in touch with mind. He didn’t bond with him or acknowledge him for about a year, my partner wanted him to be punished for his actions but I knew that he was just being a typical teenager and he’d eventually come round. Eventually I took the boys away, other half refused to come and still thinks I was praising my eldest by going. This was the best thing I could’ve done as that is where they really bonded. Now my son loves his little brother to bits. After this my partner has disliked my eldest, he won’t have our son brought up anyway like him & he refuses to send him to the same school. He says my eldest wasn't bothered about his exams and didn't care, which was true at one point and he said none of us did anything about it when he was being difficult about having a tutor. My son got 5 5's in his exams but he thinks he should've done better given he's at private school.
Eldest is currently at his grandparents, he wouldn’t come home as he thought by him coming home it would cause us to break up and he didn’t want his brother not seeing his dad everyday.
my relationship with my partner has gone downhill, I suffered PND which he wasn’t supportive at all and would tell me I would never cope on my own.
I feel really bad for the youngest cos now he’s not going to have his parents together and I feel like I’m favouring my eldest over him. In an ideal world I would just want everyone to get on but that’s not going to happen. My partner has said in the past that if my son comes home he’ll leave. Yet now he’s saying all my eldest had to do back then was apologise for his actions and he could’ve come home.
I do admit I have been hard to live with, PND lasted a couple of years then my son went which really affected my mental health so I feel like l've made my other half miserable and caused a lot of this. Maybe I haven’t been as strict on my eldest as I should’ve due to him not having a dad. My partner thinks he rules the roost at my parents too.
He says he can't wait to meet someone else and be happy. He says he's gonna have our son 50% of the time and I just don't want him away from me that long, sounds silly but he really is a mummy's boy and I don't want to be without him.
i crave that lovely family life, i never had it with my first and just long for it with my second, I don’t want to be a single mum of two again at 43.