How can I get out and meet people?

[MrsSnape]

I'm feeling very lonely lately, I keep thinking about how perfect everything would be if I had a relationship, someone to talk to, have a laugh with, go away at weekends with...

Thing is I don't get the opportunity to meet people. I can't find a job (not through lack of trying!) and I have no friends.

I never go out for a nightout (due to having no friends!) and the hobbies I have are not the type to find love at.

I'm at a loss and am feeling more or more depressed as each month goes by. I keep thinking I'm going to be sat home alone at 30, then 40, then 50, then nobody is going to want me anyway

If I have not found work by september I'll be going back to college (to do what, I don't know) but I can't see how that will help either because the majority of the students will be female!

Am I destined to be alone forever?

Why no friends? New to the area?

I don't find it easy to make friends. I do have a friend but she's nothing like me at all, is happy to sit in the home and do nothing with her life, she won't go anywhere without her husband.

And I think I have such a lack of friends because I had DS1 at 18 and have not really worked properly since so my entire life since then has been home and the kids

How old are your children? Are they young enough for you to meet people through parent/toddler groups? I know you said your hobbies won't lead to a romantic relationship but you can start just by widening your social circle and feeling more positive about yourself. Going to college might help improve your self esteem too.

My friend goes on 'singles' holidays...not like swingers holidays, but people who do not have a significant other but want to see the world. Would you consider that?

Maybe some of the female students will have DP's with lovely single mates, you can all go out for meals or to the pub....
or they'll have a hunky brother......

TBH I go away for weekends with my female friends, we usually have a brill time as DP would be worrying about the football, or whether he can afford it, or whether the washing up will've gone mouldy by the time we get back......

Getting out and making friends of either gender might help you feel better, I went back to college and was in a class of 6 women but it was really nice. Made some good friends.

I guess the grass is always greener, but don't worry if the worst comes to the worst there's always internet dating! The very worst that'll happen is that you get to laugh at them with your new female friends!

I am the same, the only way I have managed to meet men is through the internet (which isn't as scary as it sounds). But to be honest I would like to get some friends of the female variety for nights out and just general fun. I work part time, but the people there, are not really my age and most don't live locally. Sorry, I digress, don't want to hi-jack your thread!!

Think of it this way, if starting college gets you female friends, then you can go out with them socially and possibly meet men on on nights out or through their social network.

You could also try volunteer work whilst waiting to get a job (if that is possible), you would meet all sorts of people in that way. Or do something like joining a dance class or something you are interested in, meeting anyone, male OR female should be your main objective and will hopefully lead to a romantic encounter! Good luck (I soooo wish I could take my own advice though, I sound so sensible about it all!).

I agree with greeneyedgirl -have you thought about voluntary work? even if you can't find paid work at the moment, there are loads of vacancies for volunteers- look at www.do-it.org (think that's it) which shows you exactly what is needed in your area and who to contact.

I started as a volunteer when my daughter was a year old, and did one evening a week doing something, which in turn led to paid work. it's also a good way to meet people.

Don't try just to meet men- if you make a wider social circle then you'll get invited to things and meet all sorts of people.

How old are you? Are you eligible for career support and advice? Don't just take any job-think about what you'd really like to do and aim high!

Hello Mrs Snape Where are you located?

thanks for all the advice, I will look into that link hls and enquire about voluntary work. I should have done that a long time ago really, I was thinking of maybe volunteering in a school and doing teaching assistant qualifications alongside of it? that way I have most of the school holidays covered too...?

Lola, I'm in east yorkshire

Sounds great- good luck!