I've had a 6 year bumpy relationship with my partner. He has BPD. We have separated a few months back but he's been abit unwell lately so I've done a little supporting because I'm a good person. But he's currently split me black because he thought I didn't want to be seen with him in public but was angry I got a lift from a male I had 2 kids with to an appointment last week and he saw it as I spent time with him. That was enough for him to split. He made me think he was suicidal but didn't get in touch for 3 days.
I have tried to get on with my life and let his daughter know her dad was in a bad place. Unfortunately I've had to do this 3 or 4 times in 6 months because he's had crises teams and suicidal threats and she's the only family member I can tell. From my point of view I don't want to not let them know and then be blamed for not letting them know. Especially if self harm takes place.
He has this cousin who live 2 hours away. Never met her. They are both late 40s. She has always been in and out of communication with him. But she has a reputation for having ago at people for him including his own daughter. She's a really odd woman. She's gone through stages of contacting me. Then trashing me like im crazy. So I made the sensible decision to block her last September because she would reach out then disappear.
I went into my junk messages this morning to find a message sent by her 2 days ago saying stop messaging his daughter he's fine! She only got his new number the other day as he wasn't bothered about her. But because he's split on me he's contacted her and made out I'm a nutter again I guess.
I've unblocked her and sent her one message stating that she isn't local and doesn't see 90% of the last year or what's been happening. I've been working with crises teams. I've fed him. Supported him. Contacted his daughter or paramedics depending on what state he's in. It's me who's down as Next of kin. It's me who he told his therapist he can not loose. It's me who's bought him stuff not her. It's me who's laid awake and lost sleep when he's missing not her. I then advised her to not contact me again or I'll be calling the police. I also said his daughter has communicated with me willingly with no signs of discomfort.
I have no interest in this family anymore they make me feel physically ill. I am angry at myself for responding. I'm angry at him for letting his cousin give me grief. Even with them blocked the messages go into my blocked folder. I feel riddled with anxiety. He has some clothing under my bed. I'm anxious so anxious. I want to be left alone. I'm worried about him dying and now he has no support left locally. But I also don't want to deal with it. I'm exhausted by his illness. Please talk to me.