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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Learning to be in a new relationship after marriage breakdown

1 reply

Ellae · 15/01/2025 12:21

Getting divorced currently after long marriage with soon to be ex who I met in my teens. In a new relationship for nearly a year, we're good together but have both have a rough ride individually since we met.

I'm finding myself feeling very anxious. I have a lovely time with my boyfriend and then when I leave I feel very agitated. I was very much used to sleeping at my own home on my own, but I'm finding it makes me a bit sad currently. I can't seem to find a good balance with keeping myself busy and resting. He has a busy life with lots of hobbies and also likes being alone. Lately we've been seeing each other just before bed one or two evenings a week, plus a day at the weekend, sometimes two, I would say. I gather this is probably normal but I'm used to more.

I want to be more independent but it's not coming completely naturally to me. I have lots of hobbies too, it's not that. I am thinking about him an awful lot though, in a way I'm not sure is balanced or healthy. I'd often rather be with him than doing most other things. I don't want to be stifling. Not used to this, having last dated in my teens!

Has anyone else been in this situation and found anything that has helped?

OP posts:
Roseandthyme67 · 15/01/2025 18:27

Not directly in this situation (yet) but I can imagine how difficult it must be. We change so much as we get older we tend to think about things more rather than rushing in like we might in our younger years. Then there is all the advice available about getting it right or doing things the right way. Add to this having to get to know someone all over again, it doesn't seem straight forward.

You are used to having someone around and then having to adjust to being single. You've already got several hobbies so know yourself well I'm guessing. You are also in the early stages of your new relationship so I think there is a tendency for wanting to be together a lot. Don't know what to advise op but hoping someone will come along and give you some advice from experience.

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