Dating - men don’t like to be told no

[Elizo]

Been dating for a long time on and off. Men just can’t stand being rejected in my experience. I have been ghosted, lied to, dates cancelled no notice, god knows what else, but always just moved on with grace. Once ended it with a guy and he would not leave me alone for months. It made me uneasy. More recently, brief chat with a guy on an app. He asked for my number, my gut said no but I did. Bit of chat later I don’t want to go any further so told him. He is now trying to call me. Women would never do this!! I should never have chatted with him off the app, but I do not want him calling me. We have never spoken. Just a little chat over a few days (3-4 messages). AIBU to find this an infringement??

'Women would never do this'

Yes, yes they do.

Just block him and don't give out your number again until you're really sure about someone.

I don’t use dating apps but I’ve seen the screenshots of men turning nasty in an instant when they don’t get the response they want. It’s a digital version of what I remember as a teenager.

If a man started talking to you and you weren’t interested, whether it was a man in a club on a night out or a man walking down the street at 3 in the afternoon, there was always that tension of knowing that they could go from flirting to abusive and possibly violent in a split second. You go on hyper alert and just try to get out of the situation safely.

It shouldn't happen but it doesn't surprise me. When I was on the apps I was told 'it's ok. I like a challenge' when I said we were looking for different things. In relationships I have always had my own opinions and decisions questioned, as if they genuinely believe they know me better than I know myself. I don't bother any more, the entitlement irritates me before I get anywhere near meeting anyone.

You need to block much sooner @Elizo ! Everyone on OLD is a total stranger and should, IMO, be treated like a potential axe murderer until they prove otherwise. My rule of thumb was not to share any details I couldn't immediately block until they had proven to me that they were a human I would trust with anything more than that.

I think there are people of both sexes who act out on rejection. Men just think female pests are mad bunny boilers and laugh at them.

Women definitely do this. My sister had to change her phone number after another woman wouldn't accept that she wasn't interested in her.

I tried OLD last year and used to be very polite to anyone who messaged me and decline gracefully.
The abuse and/or begging I got for saying no to as just unreal. I was called all sorts just for saying ‘no thank you’ - the worst were men 10/20 years older despite my profile saying I’m looking h for someone similar age.

So maybe it’s rude but now I just delete anyone I’m not interested in without reply. I’d rather be called rude than get abuse just for saying no

Women do this, I know of someone still dropping in every 12 months.
Blocking is ineffective against persistent people.

Women definitely do this!! One woman turned up at work as they ignored their calls!!

Some people are unfortunately awful. Definitely don’t give out your number so quickly and block sooner. I hope you find someone you like soon.

Some people are weirdos. Block him and chalk it up to experience.

Remember, whatever men do on dating apps to give women the ick, women do exactly the same.

Only difference being there is probably less of an ick when women do these things to men as the pool is far smaller for them and they cant be as fussy.

Interesting that the women saying men do this are so accustomed to it that they don't give specific examples because it's so common however the women do it too are able to give specific examples because it's so rare

@Elizo why do you think some women don’t act up when rejected?

Many men on dating apps have fragile egos, for one reason or another. They don’t do therapy work on their issues before starting dating. They then get excessively angry or excessively upset as a reaction to (often perceived) rejection. Red flag. Run.

I don't know if women are often this pushy at such an early stage of dating, the women I know of who've not handled a rejection well have been further down the dating experience when it has kicked off.

I think the motivation might also be different, men can seem entitled right from the get go, women tend to be hurt by rejection when they feel there has been some kind of relationship built.

Harassment is never excusable though.

‘Women would never do this’ hahaha. Of course they wouldn’t 🙂‍↔️

Some women absolutely 100% do this let's be real.